


District 9

by Chupachabro



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Graphic Description, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, Romantic Fluff, Science Fiction, Slow Burn, Superpowers, Tags May Change, Unreliable Narrator, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chupachabro/pseuds/Chupachabro
Summary: It started with one, then it became three, soon it added up to six, and finally it ended with eight.The world was never kind to those who fought the hardest. No matter how many wishes you gave, promises you made, hope you had, if you were at the bottom it’d take a miracle to reach the top. The system was made against those deemed weak, preyed upon the souls lost to their own despair, and made you a puppet to your own mind.It started with one, then it became three, soon it added up to six, and finally it ended with eight.Eight is fate, they always said, but how long can eight last in a world meant to destroy those who were different..?-(I like being vague, enjoy)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 58





	1. Virus SKZ: An Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first attempt at ever writing fanfiction, so I do hope you understand if I'm slow at uploading, most of it will rely on my mood for writing at the current time. 
> 
> I do apologize for any writing mistakes or misspellings, I'll work hard to make sure it's checked through but if you stumble across something, point it out and I'll fix it :) 
> 
> I wanted to do something of my own story line for the SKZ boys, I'll apologize now for any suffering that may occur while this fic is occurring. I promise it will all end happily (Probably... JK, unless?)  
> Anyway! I hope you all enjoy this simple introduction to the world I've created, and I promise the next upload you will see all your favorite boys in action :) 
> 
> Their is all a small dictionary section at the bottom for any terms I've made myself for the story. Please refer to that if you have any confusion, it should help keep terms organized :) 
> 
> Appreciate you all! - Chupa

**Introduction: Virus SKZ**

It started with one, then it became three, soon it added up to six, and finally it ended with eight. 

The world was never kind to those who fought the hardest. No matter how many wishes you gave, promises you made, hope you had, if you were at the bottom it’d take a miracle to reach the top. The system was made against those deemed weak, preyed upon the souls lost to their own despair, and made you a puppet to your own mind. 

It started with one, then it became three, soon it added up to six, and finally it ended with eight. 

eight is fate, they always said, _but how long can eight last in a world meant to destroy those who were different..?_

Welcome to District 9

* * *

Virus SKZ emerged into the world when it was least expected. Life was normal one day, everyone would wake up in the morning and go about it like any other. Run through the monotonous steps of their life, sleep, then repeat. 

_Next it was chaos._

Worry was one thing, worry is when you feel the smallest flutter in your chest and draw your brows together in contemplation. When you know things will work out in the end. That was worry. 

_But-_ Panic is another thing, panic is when your heart races and a cold sweat appears on your brow. The dread of reality weighs on your heart and you can’t help but think life is doomed. 

Panic causes mania, and mania causes a complete meltdown. 

It started as a rumor among the streets, whispered from granny to granny in the parlor. 

‘ _I heard from XXX that it reached our border._ ’ One voice chimed 

‘ _Well, I heard that XXX from down the road has been absent from work the past couple days with a sudden cold._ ’ The second voice gasped out.

_‘You don’t think…_ ’ The voices faded out into the city noise. 

But it was only that at first. Rumors that ghosted from ear to ear, and nothing more than groundless gossip. Eventually it was something more, and nobody was prepared for the virus sudden emergence into their daily lives. 

At the time, the world was experiencing troubled relations. Resources were low, and populations were high. It created a rift among nations, and war appeared to be right around the corner for many. Then suddenly, as if overnight, the world fell into a global chaos, and it continued for many years to follow. 

Governments would crumble, and normal days would cease. People would wake in the morning, open the paper or turn on the news and watch as story after story told the horrors of the world around them. Good news came few and far between and you would simply expect the worst. You would come to normalize it. 

Virus SKZ had upended everything. 

It wasn’t a normal disease, if anything it was less of a disease and more of an unexplainable paranormal phenomenon, but we all know science wouldn’t allow for such an unreasonable explanation, so they landed for an illness. It was truly unexplainable though, for it spread even when isolated, it showed up without any symptoms, it appeared one day, and nobody could explain why. 

It started in the North. A sudden international event that brought about many questions and little answers. 

What was Virus SKZ? To put it simply, those infected would suddenly materialize strange and very sudden paranormal abilities. They ranged in power, in ability, different in each person, each phenomenon unique to the individual with its own restrictions and capabilities. 

The abilities ranged in power, some clearly stronger than others, some considered more dangerous than others. In order to better understand the gifts given to those with Virus SKZ they began to categorize abilities. 

  1. **Physical Manifestations, when your power has a physical form outside of the body itself. Such as _pyrokinesis_. **
  2. **Mental Manifestations, when your power is controlled by your brain. Such as _telekinesis_. **
  3. **Bodily Manifestations, when your body is manifested using your body. Such as _teleportation._ **
  4. **Extreme Manifestations, when your power is controlled by multiple sources, mental, physical, or bodily.**



It had started with a young child, barely old enough to know its own name, yet subject to the worst possible fate. One day the young patient was being studied, researched in the confines of a large research facility, then next it had disappeared, from the media, from the public, the youth became a myth. Everybody had heard of them, but nobody questioned it further, nobody thought to remember the name of the poor child. It was a sad fate for somebody so young, to be put into history as nothing but a nameless shadow in a chunk of text, but it was simply the beginning of the disappearances. The papers titled the young youth, Patient 0, and from there, it spread. 

It wasn’t just the Virus that spread, it was the fear. Not many can explain what happened in the months following Patient 0’s discovery. It was filled with horrible imagery on the news, talk of a world ending event, a firecracker with a never-ending fuse and only seconds from detonation. 

Word traveled fast those days, most propaganda, but even so; it filled people with fear. They questioned what caused it, how it went from person to person, if it could be cured? 

One might say, well wouldn’t it end like any science fiction novel? That the people would learn to accept the strange Virus, that they would live with those afflicted? It was simply that though, fiction, a novel, and life was anything but a work of fiction. It might have started with curiosity, but soon it turned to animosity, to fear. Anyone would know from those novels, that some people, given the power, would choose harm over heroics. 

Violence increased after the Virus spread. The streets were no longer safe to stroll. The night became a time for the criminally corrupt to reign free, and it forced the hand of the Government. The crimes had started small, local robberies of shops downtown. Then it evolved into something more, where fires would be started, cars would crash, people would be killed, but the cops could never find the source. People realized then, that it was someone with a gift, or a curse who was causing such violent acts. It started with one individual, and then it was a handful, until it was a full group; all with Virus SKZ and all with a thirst for destruction. The government was swift with its actions. 

That was how the system had originally been placed. A small call for order. 

Originally, the system was meant for control but soon it turned into dictation, yet nobody questioned it. They feared for their own life, that one day they would wake with Virus SKZ, and that was how it started. The gruesome hunting of SKZ individuals. The hunting of anyone deemed a danger to the peace and order of the streets. 

The system was created first, and then the districts were formed. They were nothing big at first, simply a location where you lived and nothing more. It was an easy way to organize groups of people, and the government meant for it to assist in locating SKZ infected. 

It started with volunteering, you could come forward as infected and it would appear that your treatment would be gracious. Soon though, when the ones who had been taken failed to reappear from the facilities, the volunteering would cease. They moved to community tips, asking the public in return for a small reward to inform them of anyone suspicious. That worked for awhile, until eventually it came to the ones who were protected by their family, or by their friends, or had failed to realize their personal affliction, maybe they had a gift to small to notice. 

Quickly they moved onto the final step, the last push in creating a more peaceful life for everyone. It was meant to be simple at first, the districts were nothing more than a location, but then it was something more. Money was a big factor, it was always a factor that seemed to cause more harm than good. Those with money moved up, closer to the heart of the nation. They had information, they had safety, it appeared. Those without money were pushed down, forced into small accommodations, and given little remorse for misconduct. 

_it was meant to be simple at first._ Each month you had to attend a check-up, no questions, no arguments. You would walk in, they’d do a casual exam, but then; they brought in the monitor. It was a scary machine, too many wires, and too many sounds to make anyone comfortable. You knew what it was for, but you kept quiet anyway. It was useless to ask questions, you wouldn’t get a response from the Operator. They always remained silent, face obscured by a mask; symbolized with a 0 to indicate they belonged to sector 0, the only place that wasn’t a district. It was meant for a very specialized group of researches and government officials. It was its own mystery. It was developed shortly after the Districts had polarized, set up by those wealthy families who feared anyone under them. 

After a silence, the masked operator would attach a sticker with a wire leading from it on vital points of your body. One to the temple, the heart, the tops of your hands, one by one. It was a slow, painstaking process, that always left you feeling more anxious the longer it took. At most it took less than 5 minutes, but it always felt like an eternity. Sitting and waiting, listening to the rhythmic beep of the medical monitor beside you. 

Finally the machine would start, it groaned to life, and lit up with dozens of small flashing lights, from green to red; it looked like something from an alien spacecraft, too futuristic to be sitting in such a dingy medical building. It was a walking contrast between the districts. 

… Each second that ticked by you would pray, tell the gods that may or may not be listening that this check would be the same from the last… 

For most it was, _for most_ … but for those who felt the hair on their arms raise, the shock as it ran through their core, the loud beep the machine suddenly gave out, your heart would sink, it would crash. You knew then, that day was the last you’d see of your family, your friends, the world outside. After that day, you’d be taken to sector 0, and you would never come out. 

If you failed to comply, or failed to come in for your monthly check in, you would be marked. It was a fate nobody wished for, it meant you’d never find a job, you’d never find a place to live, you didn’t belong to any district. A floater. 

It was basically the same as being a wanted criminal, each day you lived in fear of being found and taken to whatever facility they sought fit for your ‘crime’. 

It was not a good fate. 

It was originally an innocent set up, a system for order, a district for organization, a check in for safety. But it was set up with hidden agendas, and a dark outcome. No one questioned it, even when it began to evolve, where those weaker, less fortunate were pushed down, found themselves struggling in the districts 7 or 8. The ones with money, with power were regarded with ease in districts 1 and 2. It was once a system to control and reclaim their humanity, but eventually became a fight for power, and a place in a world now consumed by greedy mindless zombies. 

It continued for years, the check ups, and the polarization, until The Strays, a title given to those who had been found with the Virus were soon forgotten, when it was once hundreds of people being taken in, soon became 10 till finally the last person was found. The machines were retired, Sector 0 was closed off, and it was soon a legend to be told to your child late at night, a warning that was given to someone who stepped out of line. 

_‘Don’t become a Stray now, kid.”_ ****

It was simply a mark in history… _Until it returned._

It started with one, then it became three, soon it added up to six, and finally it ended with eight. 

* * *

**\- Dictionary -**

  1. Virus SKZ: 



A sudden paranormal illness that appeared in the world. Gives the infected supernatural gifts, ranging in abilities. 

It left many unanswered questions, but as of present it has been fully eradicated. _(15 Years ago from present)_

No cure was ever found. 

  1. Patient 0: 



The first person found infected with Virus SKZ, was nameless and suddenly disappeared from all media one day. 

  1. The _system_ : 



A set of imposed rules, and check ins to find infected and keep peace among the streets. Quickly corrupted by wealth, and evolved into an organization of ‘peacekeepers’ and ‘operators’ from sector 0. 

  1. Districts: 



Set up after The _system_ in order to organize individuals and assist in finding SKZ infected. From 1-9, it was soon polarized by wealth.

District 9 was abandoned early on after being afflicted by multiple mysterious disasters and required too much upkeep in the long run. 

  1. Sector 0: 



A research facility set up by the upper districts, all SKZ individuals found after the fact, went to Sector 0. It was overseen by ‘operators’ and scientists. After SKZ was eradicated it remained and continued to produce scientific discoveries, 

Heavily funded by the upper districts.

  1. Operator: 



An individual from Sector 0, nameless and faceless, oversaw the testing and transport of SKZ infected. Are not seen in present but rumored to still be around. 

  1. Facilities: 



Considered like a jail or a containment it was built after SKZ was discovered and was where infected were sent before Sector 0, after SKZ’s eradication, facilities were either abandoned or turned into a jail. Overseen by ‘peacekeepers’. 

  1. Monitor: 



Used to detect SKZ infected in monthly check ins. 

Developed by scientist in Sector 0 

  1. Floater: 



Those marked by the districts for ‘misconduct’, you belonged to no district, and were constantly at risk of being taken in by the ‘peacekeepers’ 

  1. Stray: 



A slang term used to describe those infected with SKZ or for somebody who is seen as a trouble maker, or black sheep. 


	2. Insomnia Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Present day is set about 15 years after Virus SKZ was fully eradicated. This is also set in a fully fictional world, this is why I have not given a name to the location the districts are set in, I hope you all understand I didn’t want to attach any real world locations for the sake of not offending anybody with a lack of knowledge on the country. With that being said, I will still use Korean honorifics, I do apologize if I use anything wrong, I researched the best I could. Most extra character’s will remain nameless, but I will have some cameos from other idol groups, as it is easier than making new characters on the spot. Again everything is fictional, and I love all the idols equally, so please do not take offence if an idol may take on the role of an antagonist, it’s simply for plot and nothing less. 
> 
> If you'd like me to add a Character description for the boys as they are added I'd be happy to, it might help with the information and for their powers when they are finally revealed, just let me know if that is something you'd be interested in :) 
> 
> Thank you for understanding <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've rewritten and added to this chapter :) Just felt like I needed more description for somethings, so I hope you all understand lol <3
> 
> Of course we have to start the story with Chan, if you can't guess now, the story will have alternating POV's but it shouldn't get super confusing I promise. I just want to give everyone equal development 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> No dictionary for this chapter

**Insomnia Pt. 1**

Life was always filled with the unexpected. From small things like not knowing what time you’ll awake when you don’t set an alarm, or what you might eat for dinner that night. To big things that throw everything on its axis, and risk what little stability you might have built up in your life. The big things were always few between, but left enough destruction to keep you struggling for days on end. 

For Bang Chan life had been smooth. He lived with a loving family, and resided in a district that supported him healthily from the beginning. Life was filled with small unexpected events, and he was always thankful for that. Chan was raised in District 5 for his entire life, his middle class home that was well lived in and filled with memories from his 20 years of life. It was a classic 2 story home, with a simple yard and tucked away on a quiet street. With both his parents, an only child; Bang Chan was the definition of normal. His biggest inconvenience being his workaholic lifestyle, something he suffered with since early childhood and a strange case of insomnia.

Despite having a supportive family, one who didn’t struggle with money, and had stable jobs with stable income Chan had decided from the time he left school he wanted his own job. After he had graduated high school, he opted for taking a few years between university to find himself and search for what he might want to do with his life. _Always the forward thinker_ , his mother would tut at him, a warm smile on her face. He searched for something small that paid enough for him to feel accomplished when returning from a shift in the evening. 

He found exactly what he was looking for, it came in the form of a radio DJ. Still in District 5, it was one of the few stations that broadcast past its own walls, to the throws of District 8 and to the orderly streets of District 1. It was a small studio, one that played for the local youth, and left the older generations with raised eyebrows, and scornful remarks that their taste was easier to listen to. He’d disagree, from the moment he had gotten the job, he took care in what he played. Took requests from his underclassmen, his own friends, even strangers sitting outside the local convenience store. From the moment he sat in the chair, he was no longer Chan, but was DJ CB97. 

_Music brought people together_ , Chan would think to himself as he played the next track on his list. It gave them a sense of familiarity with the artist, and allowed people to express themselves so openly and unguarded yet could be filled with double meanings and never ending interpretation. He found great relaxation in playing songs people enjoyed. When he listened to the ever growing maze of melodies, and the cascading lyrics of his favorite artists newest track, it gave him a purpose. 

It started from there, his love of music. From playing songs on the radio in the evenings, to eventually writing his own tracks from time to time, music slowly became one of the biggest influences in Chan’s life. Without it, Chan wouldn’t be Chan anymore, he’d simply be Bang Chan who lives in district 5. 

At the time of starting his new job, Chan’s insomnia had been small. Irritating at most, but ignorable. He felt the growing lack of sleep was easily forgotten when he was playing songs while sitting in his favorite chair, a pair of headphones thrown over his neck, but the moment his shift ended he’d be hit once more by a wave of exhaustion. Again that night he struggled to find closure with sleep, unlike most normal people after they had a long work day. His eyes remain closed, but his mind would never reach entirely into the realm of the unconsciousness. 

What was once a small unexpected inconvenience slowly grew into something that greatly impacted his own health. After 4 consecutive nights of restless sleep, he found himself growing forgetful, spacey, even when performing small tasks. It was clear to him, and the people near to him that he was beginning to struggle. 

His mother asked him one morning if he needed to call into work that day, he thought he must have looked a mess if it was enough to concern his mother he might be sick, but he shrugged her off. It wasn’t uncommon for him to have bags under his eyes, or bloodshot irises if his allergies were bad. But when he glanced at his reflection on the smooth surface of the microwave in front of him he couldn’t help but think he appeared like an entirely different person. His blonde hair was still disheveled from sleep, a normal appearance on him when he first woke, but what stood out to him was how dark his bags had become, how sunken his eyes appeared, or how pale his lips were in contrast. It was then, he thought maybe his mother had been right with her concern. He ignored it though, he told himself he felt fine, even if it was a blatant lie. The tugging behind his eyes, and the soreness of his muscles told him he was anything but fine. He wouldn’t miss work though, it was the last thing he wanted, and after assuring his mother that he was perfectly fine one more time, he continued his day as normal. Going to work, and returning home late in the evening. 

He was perfectly fine. 

The next concern came from his boss, unexpectedly. Not that the man was rude or anything, Chan just always found him as unobservant at the best of times. He was older, and time seemed to slip by for the man, but Chan respected him nonetheless. So when he had pulled the younger aside during his break, looked Chan in the eyes with complete seriousness and asked if he was feeling okay, Chan was more then startled. 

“Yes Sir, I’m completely fine!” He sputtered out after a moment of silence. 

His boss seemed unconvinced, and held Chan firmly by the shoulders. “Chan,” he started slowly, “if you’re having a hard time right now just tell me. I know you’ve been taking a lot of hours recently and I’d hate thinking I’m overworking you.” 

His concern made Chan smile, but he held up his hands and patted his boss on the arm softly. “Sir, I promise I’m not overworked, just been having some rough sleep the past couple days. It’ll pass and I’ll be back in tiptop shape I promise.” 

He hoped his excuse was good enough, and it appeared to work because his boss sighed quietly before releasing the younger and giving him a appreciative thumbs up before shuffling off into his office once more to return to whatever work he had been doing. 

Chan was more careful after that, keeping his yawning down and making sure to watch his step and not trip when his brain spaced out for seconds at a time. Still, work was a blessing for Chan and it easily distracted him when he was distressed. 

Sitting behind the monitor, and clicking play on the next song, he felt like his charisma flowed naturally anytime he spoke into the mic. It was like he had 2 identities. Bang Chan, who followed the rules, listened to his parents, kept his dreams as realistic as possible or CB97, who overflowed with spunk, spoke out for kids struggling, gave people encouragement that they could do anything. In this world, he was one of the voices who could spark _something_ , he knew that, but despite how confident CB97 made him feel, he was still Bang Chan as well. Bang Chan who feared anything out of his normal. Bang Chan who liked his place in the world, who didn’t know the horrors outside of his district, Bang Chan who knew so much, yet so little at the same time. 

When his thoughts traveled past his small bubble of knowledge Chan knew he wouldn’t sleep that night, he knew he’d lay awake, sheets rumbled around him as he’d stare into the swirling ceiling fan above him and question the things he understood. 

His Insomnia would only worsen after that, till he was stumbling through the days with little regard for what he did or said, barely remembering how he floated from work, to the store, then back home. It was evident something was wrong, but he ignored it, kept pushing it down in his head. Just like he always did when something inconvenienced him. 

It finally came to a head after one extremely difficult morning. He had yet another night of little rest, and was irritable to say the least. Unpleasant thoughts running through him as he rubbed his tired eyes. His bones seemed to scream at him, his head throbbed uncomfortably, and the lights around him were too bright for his foggy brain. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the knots and swinging his legs over the side, his world tilted for a second. He regarded it with little concern, letting the spell pass before he pushed off his bed. 

His mother had come to wake him seconds later, only to find him already digging around his closet for something to wear. He vaguely remembers her saying something to him, along the lines of breakfast is ready when you want it, but he can’t say for sure anymore. His hands stumbled to grab hold of an old hoodie hanging in front of him, his favorite one that was now a faded black mess of folds and worn fabric. 

Before he really registered what was happening to him the room began to spin. He felt his feet beneath him wobble, his vision blurred and suddenly his face was on the floor, cold upon his cheek, and rough hands were grabbing at his shoulders. Someone was calling his name, he thinks. 

‘Chan.’ It said once, “Christopher!’ It came again, more urgent and in English, _his mother._ He registered finally, a sudden urge to calm her ran through him, but he couldn’t move his arms to comfort her, an invisible weight keeping them at his sides, so he simply grunted with frustration and some sort of tone to imply he could hear her. 

The voice eased, but the hands continued to grasp at his shoulders, he felt the push and he was on his back in seconds. A dull ache resounded from his skull, his arms and legs numb from elbow and knee down. _It had finally caught up with you_ , his thoughts echoed in his disoriented haze. _You should’ve done something sooner Chan_ , It began again, _now you’re upsetting your mother_. It was a harsh scolding, the words he fought against daily in his mind now gaining full control over his thoughts. He hated the weakness, the vulnerability that exposed him so openly in front of others, in front of the ones he wanted to protect. Now here he was, barely conscious on the floor of his bedroom, his mother crying into the phone to get him help, and all he can think is how pitiful he has become in such a short amount of time. 

_‘This is your fault Chan, this is your weakness.’_


	3. Insomnia Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will be getting into some supernatural shit next chapter, be prepared lol :)

**Insomnia Pt. 2**

For some weakness was another word for balance. It was something that balanced out your strengths and made you human, normal. For Chan, weakness was overpowering. It consumed him at his worst times, and haunted him at his best. 

Chan wished life was simple, that you could live going step by step and repeat. That we could all live with a set plan each day. He knew it would be boring, but he hated the uncertainty of life. Hated waking up and knowing he had expectations for himself and if he failed them the guilt would creep in. The guilt was always the worst part. It was what made his fear of weakness more than it was. The look of disappointment in his parents eyes, the questioning gazes his peers sent him, the voices that whisper about him behind his back. The amplifications of a guilt ridden brain and his weakened self confidence created the perfect time bomb. One day he would feel too much, expect too much of himself, and he’d just collapse. 

A complex is never a simple thing. It was something developed by time and experiences. Then completed by a bow of internal self destruction. Chan knew how it started, and he knew he should have taken action as it began to snowball, until it was too big to handle, but just like he always did, he failed to do anything about it before it was too late.

All Chan wanted was to be _normal_ , it could never be that simple though… 

* * *

One of Chan’s earliest memories was of him and an old friend, someone he couldn’t even recall the name of. It was a time he filled with his imagination and aspirations for the future. Where you laid on prickly grass in the summer air, and looked into the night sky and pointed out the brightest stars and shared your biggest secrets in hushed whispers. 

He was visiting his grandparents, in a place just over the ocean from the districts. The two had been walking down an overgrown path, hand in hand. When he was still in the sunny country, with a freedom he never knew he’d miss. It was a particularly hot day, and the air was alive. Insects buzzing in the distant brush, and the chirping of exotic birds he’d never know the names of, all accented the swaying of leaves in the trees. The boy beside him, all sunny eyed and innocent, would say something. His voice was light as air and was carried by the breeze. Chan can’t recall what he had said, if it was important or not but they both laughed, childish giggles that grew more contagious the longer it went. Soon the lake, their destination, would come into view. Just past the wire fence they walked beside, and their steps would grow more impatient, their gait would increase with passion. Soon they would be sprinting until their legs hit the cool water and sand crunched beneath their sandals. 

His friend would turn to him, a smile as wide as the sky itself plastered to his face, and Chan would return it just as eagerly. In that moment he was as free as the birds and the insects around them. It was a perfect picture of his childhood, but just as bright as the moment had been, it was quickly tarnished in black. An ink stain on his heart. 

They had both lost track of time that day. The two boys played in the water for hours it seemed, until the sun began to set and the stars started to bloom in the sky. Chan should have known better, been more responsible. He was the older of the two, yet he let his joy distract him from his responsibilities. 

By the time they started on their way home, the sky was dusted in red and orange hues, and the air had grown eerily quiet. Both boys had forgone bringing a towel and deeply regretted it at the time. The dusk air chilled their dampened skin and soaked clothes clung awkwardly to their bodies. In brisk retaliation of their situation, they hurried to make it down the path towards the main road of their neighborhood. Neither spoke, as their earlier enthusiasm had been washed down by spending an afternoon in the harsh sun and playing water fights in the lake. 

A few silent minutes had passed between the two when the road came into view, but then seconds later a pair of shadows stepped in front of them. Tall and ominous, masked and unidentifiable. The boys stalled, took a cautious glance at the other and then sent a quizzical look back in front of them. The two shadowy figures never moved, only kept their position in the center of the path. Not a word was uttered between parties, only hushed breathing from the young boys broke the quiet. 

Chan knew that they’d have to try and pass the anonymous individuals if they wished to return home, but he couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut telling him how suspicious the situation seemed. He knew the call he made that day was poor judgement, most of it falling to childish naivety, but nonetheless a bad decision that would leave him with guilt and remorse till this day. If he had just turned back, walked away and found another way home, maybe things would have been different. 

He had pulled his friend behind him a little, a hand clinging to Chan’s sleeve as they began walking towards the strangers. Chan kept his gaze forward, towards their exit, their safety.

He counted his steps, one two three four five six- he had passed them then, felt his chest relax a little, seven eight- Then he was pulled back, or more so his friend was being pulled from him and the hand grabbing his shirt dragged him along. 

Chan had seen this scene before in PSA’s from school and nightmares he had at night, but nothing could really prepare you for the real situation. His friend had started to scream, calling out Chan’s name, calling out for his parents and at that moment Chan froze. People said he shouldn’t blame himself, he was just a kid, he couldn’t have done anything, but Chan knew that was false. He could have done so much, screamed for help, ran for help, could have reached out for his friend’s hand again, clung to the boy's wrist for dear life. Could have fought it, fought against the inevitable, but he was weak. Weak minded, weak willed, a weak individual who watched as his friend was pulled into the depths of a van hidden among the shrubbery, listened as the cries of his friend filled the eerie night air, did nothing as the van disappeared into the streets. 

From the moment he had run home sobbing, his parents rushing to console him, he questioned why he was left behind. The police had asked him question after question the following morning. The parents of his young friend begged for information, but Chan couldn’t give them anything. He didn’t have a face, didn’t remember the license plate, didn’t hear a voice, couldn’t even recount the exact time frame of events. He was a useless witness. 

He always questioned why it wasn’t him. 

He was a weak child, who grew into a weak man. That time from his childhood haunted him, reminded him of his shortcomings, of what he could never live up too. He wasn’t a man who could protect the things he loved, he was a man who lost and would continue to lose. Who never lived up to expectations and hid from responsibilities by overworking himself. 

That was Chan’s weakness. 

* * *

Chan awoke with a jolt, his thoughts scattered as he attempted to piece together what had just recently occurred. He remembers going to work one day, coming home late in the evening, skipping dinner, telling his mother goodnight, another sleepless rest, and then it was hazy. He recalled his mother’s voice saying good morning, and the obnoxious hum of the old A.C. In his room. Then he remembered how he had stumbled, collapsed actually and suddenly a pit in his stomach opened, and he dreaded what awaited him when he opened his eyes. He peaked through half closed lids, and only saw white. So he took it upon himself to man up and open his eyes, and when he did he was blinded. 

Chan with squinted eyes, glanced around the small medical office. The walls were a harsh sterile white, the ceiling an off-white, the floor, the cabinets, even the small sanitary tools all white. Even the noise, as Chan would describe it, was a white noise, incessant in the back of his brain. It made him on edge- made him miss the comforting feeling of his work chair. The constant lull of music in the background, or the hustle of the busy studio in the evening. He wished now, more than ever for the familiarity of his job, of anything besides the acidic burn of chemicals on his nose, or eerie hospital chatter playing in his ears. 

“Chan, honey…” his mother’s sudden address pulled him from his anxious thoughts and he glanced towards where she sat across the room. Her hands were crossed in her lap, and she had been tapping her foot repetitively since she had sat down only a couple minutes ago when she realized Chan had woken up, but Chan had pretended not to notice it, hadn’t even looked at her once till now. A guilt he couldn’t describe still lingered in his stomach. He feared the look on her face, so he kept his gaze towards her feet, a sigh escaping her at her son's action of ignoring her. 

“Mom?” He croaked out in response, his throat raw from under use. 

She shuffled then, feet stilling as she crossed her legs, and a suddenly tense atmosphere fell on them both, “Chan… sweetheart why didn’t you tell me you had been feeling sick lately?” 

It was a simple question, it was a question he had been expecting, yet he still struggled to give a straight answer. His voice caught in his throat, and he wrung out his hands thick with sweat, as he took in a shaky breath, “I thought- I thought it would go away.” 

Chan’s mother clearly didn’t believe his answer, that or her growing silence was a way of getting him to add more, he wasn’t sure, but soon she released another disappointed sigh. 

“You know you don’t have to keep these things to yourself, what if-” 

Her question was abruptly cut off, as the door to the room swung open. She snapped her head away from her son, and Chan followed, thankful for the end to their conversation. The door opened with a high pitched squeal of protest before falling shut again as a man, Chan assumed, was the doctor entered. The man wore the typical white coat, a pair of pens rested in his pocket. The kind of pens that someone wore simply for show, his name tag reading Dr. _XXX_. He was a clean professional with neatly combed hair and ironed clothes. It was enough to give Chan a feeling of insuperiority, knowing then that this man was at least from District 3 or above, most doctors were. 

He was somebody who would never struggle with money, who was born from wealth. Chan knew it was stupid to feel any jealousy towards someone from another district, I mean they were as much stuck there as he was in 5, but he was only human after all. His eyes followed the doctor as he sat down, his gaze landing on a picture on the desk and he immediately regretted his previous envy. It was clear to Chan, this man lived a life outside his job, in the picture he was seen smiling with what he could only assume was the man's daughter. It was carefree and purely innocent, a normal photo. This man had his own life, a family all in the cozy walls of a district above Chan’s own, but here he was helping those below him. That took someone with true morals, and Chan felt his guilt grow, his head dropping so he could stare at the floor once again. 

“Now Mr. Bang Chan-ssi, it would appear you had quite the crazy morning as your mom has told me,” He addresses Chan, the man's voice was warm, comforting even but the formality does little to keep his nerves down even as the man continues in his soft tone, “I’m sure you would like some help with this… problem of yours?” 

It was all polite talk, Chan knew it wasn’t meant to make him feel any sort of way besides comforted, but he couldn’t shake the ever present guilt from within his gut. All he could respond with was a curt nod, his mother giving him a disapproving sigh at his lack of vocal agreement. 

“Alright, care to tell me what you’ve been experiencing the past couple days?” 

Chan took a breath, finally finding his voice as he began, “It started a few weeks ago actually, I don’t really know the exact time.” He shrugged, “But it started small, I wouldn’t be able to get a full night sleep. I would always wake up at least once” He glanced at the doctor, found him taking notes in a small pad. 

“I knew I should’ve realized it could get worse, but everyone experiences some bad sleep a few times in your life, so I didn’t think much of it then.” He paused to think of how he should continue, “Then I would wake up and I couldn’t fall back asleep after. It kept getting worse then, and soon I would miss days of sleep…” He stopped himself from continuing, the doctor’s own pen ceasing as the man looked into Chan’s eyes, probing him for more. 

“Is that all?” The man questioned, “The only way I can help is if you give me all the details.” 

“Chan,” His mother added a tone of concern in her voice. He quickly held his hand up then, to hush her before he continued. 

“That’s all it is Doctor,” He assured, trying to steel his voice to sound more convincing. The man simply set his pen down, and looked Chan in the eyes, it was the stare of a professional. Of somebody trying to take in what is in front of them and analyze every detail. The action unsettled Chan, shrinking away from the glare. 

“Alright Chan, from what you told me I can deduce you are probably suffering from some form of Insomnia.” The man paused in order for Chan to fully take in what he was sharing. In all honesty Chan knew that was what it was, but putting a name to his problem made it all too real, and he hated to admit that to himself. 

“Can we do something for it?” His mother chimed, and the Doctor nodded. 

“We’ll start with some light meds, and a better sleeping schedule. This might mean cutting down hours at that job of yours Chan.” 

“What?” The words that had left the doctors lips rang in his ears, _cutting down hours? No no no_

“No!” He didn’t know he had spoken aloud until 2 pairs of eyes were cutting into him, and he swiftly put a hand over his mouth. 

“No?” The doctor questioned, and his mother was reaching to grab Chan’s arm but he shied away. 

“I mean- My job helps me. I- the music helps me.” 

“Chan…” His mother was looking at him, almost pityingly and he couldn’t stand the tone of her voice. Looking away he stared at the feet of the doctor as the man cleared his throat. 

“Well, if it helps… Just don’t overwork yourself Chan. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed you shouldn’t be complacent okay?” The man was simply trying to convince him things would be okay, and in retrospect it would be. They would find the right medicine, the right schedule, the right method for helping him, but his earlier comment had startled Chan enough to hijack his train of thought into overthinking and he worried his hands might be shaking from the stress of the situation.

“I understand doctor.” He finally relented, and his mother seemed to physically relax beside him at her son's agreement. 

The doctor nodded and placed a formal smile on his lips before scribbling out a prescription for Chan, something he could never pronounce himself but at least he could read the doctors handwriting. 

“Alright, I’ll start you on XXX but tell me if you experience any side effects or need a higher dosage. I’ll check up on you in a couple weeks, _okay Chan_?” 

‘Alright Doctor thank you” 

“Let’s head home now honey,” his mother reached for his arm, and pulled him to his feet and they both politely said their goodbyes to the hospital staff before exiting out into the evening lull of district 5. 

It was a quiet ride home, Chan could tell his mother had been frustrated at him, but like most things involving Chan she had grown complacent. She knew he wouldn’t come to her for help, and Chan knew he couldn’t come to her for help, he couldn't come to anybody for help. He didn’t blame his mother, it wasn’t her fault her son lacked the will to express concerns for himself. He was nothing but grateful she kept up with him for as long as she had, and it was times like these that her support did keep him from completely shutting down. He just wished he could let himself open up to her like she wanted, something that may never happen and both just have to accept that. Either way, he was grateful and when they were back at home and he made sure to give her a big hug and promise to tell her if he was still having trouble sleeping, a wistful promise he probably couldn’t keep but he gave it to her anyway. 

Finally he was alone to himself. His muscles relaxed and he looked at the pill bottle his mother had placed in his hands earlier in the kitchen. The fluorescent orange mocked him, told him how weak he had become. _Look at you Chan, you let yourself get carried away and now you dragged people into your mess, because you aren’t strong enough… Weak boy…_ It scolded him, and he gripped the bottle till the edge of the cap dug painfully into his palm. He shouldn’t feel weak, he shouldn’t feel like any of this is his fault that his biology is a little messed up, something that could be corrected with the proper medication and monitoring, but it wouldn’t let him think so optimistically. His brain was messed up, he was messed up and one day it would eat him alive. The responsibilities, the expectations, the hope for a future outside the districts. It was all a part of life, but it was a life Chan wanted no part of. 

It was times like these, when he was so deep in his head, that only the music could pull him up from, that he felt he was missing a part of himself. That he was built incomplete, missing a screw somewhere. With a resigned sigh, Chan opened the lid of the bottle in his hand, took out a single pill and took it with a gulp of water. 

Somehow he knew, this was only the start of his problems.


	4. Insomnia Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no consistent schedule for this lol, sorry about that :(( 
> 
> Things get a little more intense, and little more graphic this chapter. We are also reaching an end to our time with Chan before we move POV's ;0  
> I'm sorry if things read weird, I have a habit of using a lot of commas,,,,, like a lot and also for repeating phrases, but I think it helps emphasize important details idk. 
> 
> Anywayyyy- I'll give a warning, this might have some graphic detail, not bad but could still give people some bad vibes so just a warning to continue with some caution.  
> -Chupa <3

**Insomnia Pt. 3**

Life for Chan after his collapse had been relatively normal. It appeared that his medication had been working and for the most part he would sleep at most, if he was lucky 4 hours each night, _(give or take an hour to two)_. Chan took that as a personal victory, each day he woke up with more than 30 minutes of sleep he felt he had accomplished something that used to seem impossible. 

The first evening he had taken the pills he expected it to be like any other night. Laying awake on his pillow and watching as the sky gradually lightened and sunlight leaked into his room through his cracked blinds. Instead, a weight dragged his eyelids down and he entered a rather restless sleep, but he had slept nonetheless. The only odd occurrence was the dream.

Chan wasn’t a stranger to peculiar dreams, or dreams that made no logical sense when you thought about it. But- this dream wasn’t like that, it felt real, too real. Like he could touch whatever was in front of him, could feel what was around him, hear every sound and saw things with such intense clarity. It startled him, and even more startling was that he remembered every second of it. 

* * *

The dream started slow, a blur of hazy motion, and muffled sounds. Then it slowly materialized in front of him, everything as clear as if he was seeing it in real time. 

_It was dark, and the sky rumbled with thunder as he ran through a blanket of rain. It hit against his skin harshly, the sting left him breathless, the cold crept into his bones. His legs burned but he kept running, kept pushing forward into the night._

_He felt afraid, like he was being chased by some unknown force and a distinct flight or fight response settled in his gut._

_It was like any nightmare, it wasn’t anything odd._

_He’d glance behind him, once- twice but never saw what was chasing him, like it was always just far enough to be hidden but close enough to be dangerous. Stalking him quietly from the shadows._

_His heart was pounding in his chest, the reverb playing in his ears as his eyes trained back to the road in front of him. The streetlights leading down into a road he had never seen before, the buildings blurring into the night scenery around him. It was then he focused on the houses around him, how well maintained everything was, how clean it all appeared. Nothing at all like district 5, it was spotless._

_That was odd._

_A flash of lightning suddenly blinded him, startling him into missing a step and he tumbled to the ground, the pads of his hands catching on rough concrete and the skin of his knees skidding to catch himself. The panic rose, sky-rocketed and he scrambled to stand back up and continue running forward, but a hand grabbed his collar. It pulled him backwards, he felt his airway constrict, his hands coming up to claw at the fabric choking him, his feet leaving the ground._

**_It was all too real._ ** _The feeling that something was wrong settled around him as he thrashed against the hold that held him in place._

_The hand brought him down again and his back was now flush against someone’s chest, warm against his soaked skin, a cold edge was pressed against his neck, a husky breath against his ear._

**_It was all too real._ ** _He wanted to wake up._

_“Caught you now little chick…” The voice purred against him, his body tensed and he struggled against his captor, desperate, but the cold edge, a knife he realized, pressed deeper into his neck. He felt the prickle of flesh tearing, the warm blood seeping from the small cut._

_“Now now,” The grip tightened, “Let’s not be in such a hurry. I just wanna have a chat-“_

_“Let go-“ Chan startled, the voice that left him, it wasn’t his voice. It was too deep, and the accent was off. It was then he noticed how he was only partially in control of his body. How he could react to the situation, could think freely but some of the actions happened before he thought for them to happen, like everything was one step ahead of his actual brain._

_Unnerved, the dream continued. The man holding him let out a dark chuckle, malice behind his tone as he tutted scornfully, “Little chick, I told you I wouldn’t be so nice the next time this happened, it’s best if you keep me from doing anything more than threaten you…” The voice turned low and hushed, a warning behind the words._

_Chan felt his blood run cold, the knife digging further into his neck as he let out a pitiful whimper in response, his voice bubbling in his throat before he could stop himself, “Please- I don’t wanna do this anymore…”_

_That seemed to startle his captor, who jolted behind Chan. It appeared like perhaps his plea had struck a nerve, maybe the man would find pity, give him a chance._

_“What the hell-” The voice started, before abruptly being cut short when Chan was dragged back into his room, suddenly awake._

He stared up at his fan, eyes moving along with the blades as he let his heart settle, the pounded seeming to bring him back to himself slightly. His breath catching in his throat every couple seconds, till it finally regained some normal pace in his anxiety. 

It had felt all too real. His thoughts were jumbled together, and he counted the seconds for the information to slip from his brain, just like any of his other dreams. 

But it never disappeared, in fact it only seemed to stick further as he recounted each second of what happened. _It had felt all too real,_ he uttered once before turning on his light and spending the rest of the night writing out a song for distraction. 

The dream had startled Chan, thrown him off and left him shaken for days after. It wasn’t as if it was a particularly unique nightmare, he was sure it was something people dreamed often. What threw Chan off was the fact he wasn’t normally prone to dreaming in the first place, in fact most of his dreams remained uninspired and dull, a stark contrast to his waking mind. Sometimes he wondered how he was able to create such whimsical melodies, perhaps his brain simply needed a break from the fantasy of his lyrics and it found that in his dreams. 

Simple and boring. 

That was why the dream caught him so off guard. It was realistic, it was like a play by play of a movie, something he’d see in the theaters. Chan questioned himself on if he needed to address this with his doctor, but he restrained himself, told himself once again that it would simply go away. 

Just like always, Chan ignored it… 

* * *

Chan awoke in the morning, aided by his sleeping pills he felt well rested, ready to head into work for a particularly long shift. Despite a full night sleep, a yawn tugged at his lips and the drowsy pull to his eyelids lingered as if he hadn’t slept at all. 

He pulled at his covers, slipping out from the bundle of comfort and into the chilled A.C. Of his bedroom. He settled there for a second, letting his body adapt, warm up on its own before making any move to stand. It was how he always started his day. 

Chan was a slow riser, enjoyed taking his time when getting ready, a habit passed down from his father. The man was never on time, and always took an additional 20 minutes just to remove himself from his bed. Chan was never that bad, thankfully, but he still struggled with staying on time for his schedule, his brain lingering on one task longer than necessary if he wasn’t careful. 

That’s why, he allowed himself a few peaceful moments to enjoy the cool air before he pulled himself into a standing position, slumping his shoulders and running a hand through his blonde locks swiftly. Putting his hands above his head he stretched with a dramatically loud groan for affect, chuckling at himself in response. After assuring his muscles it was time to start working correctly he glanced around his room, spotting some clothing already laying around and debated with himself if he wanted to be _that_ lazy. 

He decided against the lazy option and moved to his closet instead, opening the door and quietly gazing at his clothes hanging before him. All shades of white, grey, or black. _Completely uninspiring_ , he mused at the lack of color. 

With a shrug at his thoughts, he began to hum to himself, _‘Hmm hmm doo doo dun…’_ pushing aside a group of shirts for access to his sweatshirts and picking out a simple grey one. Then moving toward his jeans and just grabbing the first pair his hand lands on. 

With an outfit for the day, he made his way to his bedroom door, turning the knob and opening it to a silent hallway. His parents must have already left, and he simply let himself enjoy the alone time while moving into the bathroom and staring at his reflection silently. 

Unlike only a couple weeks ago, he had color in his face. His cheeks were flushed pink, his eyes had life back in them. It gave him back some confidence he hadn’t known he’d lost and with a small smile, he set about changing his clothes. 

After pulling the sweater over his head, Chan turned on the faucet and splashed a handful of cool water upon his face, drying the wetness with a towel, and letting the refreshing feeling wake him up enough to continue getting ready for the morning. 

It had worked for awhile, at least enough to give him time to make a cup of coffee and put his bag together. Slipping in his trusted laptop, a pair of headphones for the trip to work and back home in the evening, a couple snacks, his wallet and his keys. He was ready to officially start his morning. 

He left home with a spring in his step and an optimistic smile on his face. 

It _was gonna be a good day_ , he thought. 

* * *

The trip to work was a simple journey. It started with a walk down his neighborhood street and then onto the main road of District 5, where he would catch the bus the rest of the way into downtown. 

He slipped in his earbuds, turned on his favorite playlist and walked with his hands in his pockets and his gaze towards the sky above him. When he stared at the sky, he felt free, outside of the walls and far away from any expectations. A fantasy, but it gave him peace in the moment. 

As he walked his thoughts shifted back to the dream he had, remembering the way the street had looked to him that night. He cast his eyes to the houses around him. District 5 was nice, he admitted, it was well maintained, and the streets were clean most of the time. Nothing was big or extravagant, but nothing was falling apart either and that was why district 5 was the middle ground of the districts. It was his home, and he was happy with what he was blessed with but the location in his dream, _that was not district 5._

The houses had been large, all 2 stories, with fully maintained lawns, landscaped bushes, and modern architecture. It was perfect, each building placed in the proper location and all surrounded by a large gate. 

It was not district 5. 

Maybe his brain had subconsciously thought up where his doctor might have lived, somewhere in the upper districts. Maybe his jealousy from that day lingered in his brain and thought up a stupid scenario just to spite his selfish thoughts. 

“That must have been it”, Chan thought aloud, trying his best to convince himself things were still normal. _That must be it._

With his thoughts occupied he made it to the bus stop rather quickly, allowing himself a break to collect himself before joining the throws of normal society. 

“It was just a stupid dream Chan, pull yourself together…” He scolded himself quietly, gaze locked on his feet, specifically his laces that he had unconsciously doubled knotted when he left that morning. 

Collecting his thoughts, he rolled his stiff shoulders and neck then waited for his bus to arrive. It took a few minutes, maybe 3, before he was taking his normal seat and resuming his music, gaze filtering to a nearby couple quietly whispering hushed flirtations to one another, Chan rolled his eyes, but felt a warmth tug at his heart. He was a people person, and seeing people happy made Chan happy, even if it was gushy displays of romantic affection. Happiness was simply infectious for the boy. 

It was quiet for a while, the bus started back on its route, and the morning ticked by peacefully, Chan feeling a sudden tug at his eyes again, the yawn he had held back earlier that morning breaking from his lips. He wondered if his medication was lingering longer than normal, and he just needed a couple minutes more rest to be 100% for the day, so he relented and let his eyes drift shut, only for a couple minutes. 

* * *

The dream started slowly, a warm light hitting his face and a gentle breeze brushing back his hair. _He opened his eyes, and the city was around him. The bustling of his district, the comfort of the place he had grown up in. It was bright, like the exposure of his brain had been cranked high, and things appeared unnaturally lively._

_Colors burst from the store fronts, the signs that hung beside them, the clothing people wore. It was like a dream sequence from a movie, he thinks. Brightened and cheerful, something that made you feel like you were in a fantasy world._

_He was riding his bike he realized, moving past people, toward a destination he hadn’t set, just letting the wheels take him. It was a relaxing dream, nothing like his recent nightmare, but it felt just as real. The wind moved through his hair, rustled his clothing and pulled at his skin refreshingly. The thrum of voices around him guided his path, hushed conversations that he’d never pick up on, would never be able to decipher, but regarded nonetheless._

_When he looked down at his hands they were the hands of an adolescent. He must be reminiscing his childhood, this dream must have carried his optimistic mood from the morning, and his thoughts of freedom from his walk to work and formed a memory he hadn’t known was lingering in his brain._

_Although he could never remember if he had actually rode his bike down this street in his past, he took it in anyway, let the memories flood through his consciousness. He thought back to dinner with his family, talking about his day at school and hungrily stuffing food into his mouth, a grin plastered to his face._

_Thought about his mother tucking him into bed, and kissing him sweetly goodnight while turning on the nightlight before she left. The comforting music it released drifting him into a peaceful slumber._

_Thought about the times he spent with his friends outside the shops of the street he currently rode along. Their cheeky giggles filtering through the air as they exchanged pieces of the candy they had just purchased with their weekly allowances._

_It was all images of a time that seemed so long ago, like a movie of his life._

_He thought about returning home from a day playing outside, running into the kitchen and toward the fridge. Throwing open the door, and scanning the contents for his favorite drink, his younger sister skipping into the room with a grin on her face. She greeted him cheerfully, his sister-_

_His sister?_

_The dream seemed to jump, skip a beat in the timeline, and suddenly his thoughts seemed confused. His sister? He didn’t have a sister… Right?_

_The thought still played out, the kids talking in the cool A.C. of the kitchen and munching happily on a recently cut watermelon. It was certainly a memory, but was it his own?_

_Returning to the street, his hands clutched the handle bars tightly, he felt an unease in his stomach. Something was wrong, and unlike the nightmare he had before, this dream was light and airy but it felt just as wrong, maybe even more so then the previous one._

_Unlike the nightmare it was all too perfect to be true, something constructed by his subconscious to confuse him. Everything flooded his brain, thought after thought of what he was seeing, but none of it exactly what he had remembered of his past before. Like it was all something he had experienced but things were just slightly off. Like the number of friends, or the layout of the rooms in his house._

_It wasn’t his house, it wasn’t his thoughts, he must be going crazy… The medication must have been affecting him more then he had realized. This wasn’t normal, wake up Chan!_

_He wanted to pull himself out of his thoughts forcefully, make himself wake up before he spiraled into something he didn’t want to discover, like the dream was simply a coverup for his darkest thoughts to come creeping at him._

_Wake up Chan. Wake up Chan- WAKE UP!_

* * *

Chan was yanked from his dream abruptly, the jerking of his body into the window beside him allowed his fuzzy brain to acclimate back to reality. He was still sitting on the bus, but chaos was suddenly surrounding him. 

It was like a scene from a movie, people were yelling out in frustration, some remained silent but gazed around with questioning eyes, those near the front of the vehicle rushed into action, a woman bursting into tears from whatever had caused the bus to slam on its brakes. 

_It was like a movie,_ Chan thought again. Although he was still shaken from his recent dream, and his legs appeared like they might give out any second his curiosity dragged him to the front. Past the crying women, who was now talking on the phone urgently, past the couple who was no longer romantically holding each other but instead grasped hands in comfort, past the bus driver who seemed like he might faint on the spot. He stopped at the doors, looked outside and found a crowd surrounding the front of the bus, people pushing to view what had happened, a few with phones already out and recording whatever had just occurred. 

Chan’s eyes followed their gaze down, down, down until it landed on a body. A boy. A young boy, with blood pooling around his head, and his body twisted unnaturally, like a doll that was thrown to the floor with disregard. Limbs splayed out, bones broken, blood. So much blood. 

His gut churned, body pitching forward as he slapped a hand to his mouth to keep from getting sick. It was awful, it was an image he burned into his mind, and let settle into his memory, something to haunt him just like the event from so many years ago. Something so extreme, so awful that you would think it could never happen to you, that you would never see something like it occur but here he was. 

After a while his gaze moved again, towards a slight movement just to the side of the body, something mangled and destroyed. A wheel was spinning, in perpetual movement, a wheel of a bike- _A bike?_

That was the moment when Chan finally thought something was wrong. Something wasn’t right. That his normal life was suddenly not so normal anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy my small reference this chapter, but if you also can't pick up on it the chapter names are also a reference to something ;0  
> Once more are released you might be able to pick up on where it is from. 
> 
> If you find any mistakes hit me up on them, and I'll fix it! Always appreciate the support <3


	5. Insomnia Pt. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Hoped
> 
> He Failed 
> 
> He Feared 
> 
> He Ran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in light of recent events I have formally removed Woojin from this fic, and he will not be present. Of course I have to plan a few things again, luckily it wasn't something that would ruin the direction this story is going in. 
> 
> I won't make any statement of what happened, but all I'll say is ot8  
> \--  
> Anyway, here is the final part in the Insomnia section and I hope you enjoy as thing's come to head in Chan's normal life lol  
> Also WARNING: Minor graphic details and descriptions of violence, please read with caution. 
> 
> :) -Chupa

**Insomnia Pt. 4**

The image was burned into his brain. The bus brakes as it groaned against the force it took to stop, the screams as people realized what happened, the body on the ground… 

The mangled limbs, twisted in all the wrong directions, sickly, _ghastly deformed_. Bone exposed where it shouldn’t be, the white was harsh in the sunlight of an early morning. The red of the blood, the blood that pooled on the ground and sunk into the cracks of the concrete, something to be left behind once it was all cleaned up, a reminder. 

It was burned into his brain, left to shimmer in his forethought as red and blue lights invaded his peripheral, screeching sirens blared in his ears, numbing him to the situation temporarily, distracting him enough to get off the bus and let himself blend into the crowd. 

_Life was always filled with the unexpected. From small things like not knowing what time you’ll awake when you don’t set an alarm, or what you might eat for dinner that night. To big things that throw everything on its axis, and risk what little stability you might have built up in your life. The big things were always few between, but left enough destruction to keep you struggling for days on end._

One second things could be normal, you could be happy and then the next you were doused in an ice bath of reality. It stung your core, oozed into your body until you were numb from head to toe, from heart to the brain. One event after another, one unexpected occurrence after the next. Chan wasn’t sure he could handle anymore. 

* * *

After the accident he had called into work that day explaining he couldn’t make his shift, the sick feeling in his gut remained even as he walked back home, into the comfort of his house. It remained as he stripped from his clothes, a thousand needles suddenly nestled in his skin as he scrubbed the guilt from his body in the shower. He came out raw and red, a reflection of his fragile heart. It remained as he crawled into his bed, the sun still high in the sky, the covers still made beneath him as he curled into himself. _It remained, and remained_. 

He didn’t dream that night, in fact he didn’t sleep, wouldn't let himself sleep. Once again the feeling of unrest settled into his heart, even with the medication he feared it wouldn’t be strong enough, not with the haunting images clouding his brain. He feared another dream, he feared the consequences that came with his decisions, even if he didn’t fully understand what was happening to him. Somehow he knew it was a change that would throw him into an unknown. It would disrupt the normal that Chan had found so comforting. 

_Somehow_ , deep in his heart he had always known, always felt he was different from others around him. Maybe it was just his mind weaving a story together to soothe him when he needed an explanation. Maybe it was something that would blow over in a week or two, when the news stopped running the story, when the boy's face was no longer plastered everywhere. Maybe it would go away-- He hoped, sent a silent prayer to anything that would listen. 

_He hoped._

Chan floated the next couple days, let time pass by him as he avoided work, avoided his parents, avoided living life like it was normal. It worried his mother, worried his boss, it worried Chan himself, but he couldn’t let it go. It was bad, he knew it was bad to dwell on something so destructive but _he couldn’t let it go_. Relief only came when he wrote his music, distracted his brain with lyrics and melodies. It was his personal form of first-aid, when he lacked a way to express what troubled him he turned to music. Except it was only a temporary fix, and he knew that eventually he would have to face reality once again. 

That came when finally one day he told himself he had to go back to work, back to his normal. He made sure to avoid his normal route, avoid any reminder of that morning because he knew one small thing would throw him back into the lake of his mind, that would make him begin to drown in his thoughts. He went to work the long way, walked the entire path there and found peace simply listening to his music. 

Surprisingly for Chan work went smoothly, and it helped ease his troubles temporarily. It was like a band-aid that covered a wound, and kept it safe from any invading thoughts. 

He sat in the familiar chair, the tattered fabric was a welcome comfort. He threw the headphones over his ears, just like he had done a thousand times before. He looked at the set up before him, the way the mic was placed, the screen in front of him, all the technicalities of being a DJ spread out before him. 

Soon he wouldn’t be Bang Chan anymore. Soon he’d take the persona of CB97, full of charisma and always a smile in his voice. He wasn’t sure he’d check that last box today, he was full of uncertainties even as the director counted down, even as the light flashed on the ‘On Air’ sign above the door, even as he wordlessly adjusted in his seat, closed his eyes for a split second, just to take in the feeling of what was around him. Even as he finally took a breath opened his mouth to speak the first words of CB97 in days. He was uncertain, but the doubt wouldn’t last long. 

He was lost in seconds, soon drowning in the excitement of his job, the job he forgot that he loved so much. A love he wouldn’t give up for the world. It was his own form of healing. _It was his own piece of heaven_ , Chan thought with a smile.

He let himself fall into the familiarity of his work, let his muscle memory replace any overthinking and played through the steps he’d done so many times before. It was peaceful, it was relaxing, it was a release from drowning in his self introspection. Chan let himself, even for just a moment, think things would be normal once again. _For just a moment_. 

* * *

“Listeners, this has been 5 o'clock jams with CB97, I hope you all had a wonderful evening, but unfortunately it is time to say goodbye.” There was a bitterness in his tone, something he tried to hide with a laugh, “but don’t let that get you down, I’ll be back next Friday!” His voice hesitated slightly as his promise hung in the air before him, and for a split second he thought, _would he?_

Chan glanced at the director, for a split second. He wanted to check his time, he had to say something, had to relay his emotions before he left. A small part of Chan worried this might be his only time, _the perfect moment_. So he hurried out his next statement, ignoring the irritated scowls adorning the faces around him. 

He starts slowly, “Sometimes life throws the unexpected at you. That’s how it’s always been hasn’t it? It’s a part of living life,” He chuckles, running a hand along his jaw in contemplation. “It throws it, --well maybe chucks would be a better explanation. Either way, you’re hit in the face by a boulder, and you fall, you’re crushed.” His tone grows serious, and he has to hold a hand to stop any interjections from the rest of the staff as he continues. 

“It’s a weight that constantly hangs over your heart and mind, something that appears impossible to pass. I’ve been there, recently in fact but today I found some comfort doing this show. Maybe I’m being sappy, maybe I should just sign off with a simple goodbye, but I felt in my heart I had to say something. I have something to say-- _So please listen earnestly._ ” 

He began his address, pulling together all his thoughts he began, “My name, although this might come as a surprise to some, is not CB97, it’s a simple stage name, but it was something I found comfort in, it was an identity I could hide behind. When I’m sitting here, talking with all of you, no matter what district you might be in, I see myself in all of you. I don’t just play music for the sake of my work, I play music because I want to touch each of your hearts like you have with mine. I want to show, despite where we live, or who we associate with, we can all connect with the music. When we break it all down, down to the most basic level of humanity we are all the same. We hear something, we connect with it and we can share that with somebody else down the line. No matter the money, or the status, or whatever else might prevent you from being yourself, just remember- one thing can open your heart, one thing can change your life. Keep going forward, “He took a shaky breath, leaning back in his chair to relax and placing a calm smile on his face, “and with that CB97 is signing off, g’day mates…” His goodbye trailed off, almost sadly but he felt accomplished nonetheless. 

Once the goodbye had settled in his heart he threw the headphones from his head, barely sparing a glance or an explanation as his coworkers who practically dragged him for answers, talking over one another and rushing to set up for the next DJ to take his place. To some it appeared like a harmless pep talk, but to others it almost seemed like a goodbye. He didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to come to terms with whichever option it might have been, so he hurried out of the studio, hurried to collect his things and exit the building into the District he loved so much. 

It was raining by the time he left the studio, the sky was a deep grey, billowing clouds rolled over one another, and thunder rumbled in the distance. It reminded him of the nightmare he had weeks ago, a connection which only further allowed a shiver to run down his spine. Contemplating how he’ll get home today, he shoved his hands inside his pockets, dipped his head to avoid the rain and started walking in the general direction of his house. Without much thought he let himself travel, the simple conditioned memory to direct him. For a while his thoughts drifted, never far enough to throw him into a hole but straddling the line of worry. He worried about why he needed to say what he said that today, he worried about what was happening to himself on the inside and the outside, he worried about all the things he began to take notice of and silently wished he’d never let himself become aware of. 

So eventually he stopped thinking, stopped worrying for just a few minutes. Instead he let his mind drift to count the cracks in the sidewalk beneath him. Let himself drift into peaceful meditation, just for a while. 

In his daydreaming state he failed to notice the figures lingering behind him, he failed to notice their masked faces as they stalked him. Failed to notice how they followed him from his studio and right back to his house. 

Failed to notice the red 0 upon their faces, 

_He Failed to notice the one thing that could eternally ruin his normal, the operators_. 

* * *

He slipped into bed that night, the warmth of his favorite comforter quickly enveloping him. It was one he had since he was in middle school, a red lion taking up most of the fabric. It felt like home whenever Chan huddled under it after a long stressful day. A peaceful comfort when he tossed and turned all night long. 

He had foregone his pill tonight, something in him was telling him that it was only doing worse then good at this point. It had been a couple days since his last full night sleep, the previous events having kept him up late into the evening with mindless daydreams, scribbled lyrics, and endless melodies. Exhausted, especially after having worked that day, he let himself drift. Let his thoughts stall, and allow for a few minutes of quiet contemplation. 

Earlier in the evening after his family had eaten dinner a knock sounded at their door. It was odd to Chan, especially since it was well past normal visiting hours, but as quickly as his curiosity had swelled it was stomped down when his father told the boy to go to his room. His tone was serious, the tone a father used to express his authority, and Chan was in no place to argue. So despite the question lingering on his tongue he bit his lips and trudged up the stairs and into his room. Of course he had attempted to listen in on whomever the visitor was, but all he could make out was hushed whispers and the clanging of dishes his mother was putting away. So he moved on and slowly started to create a song entirely in his head. It had no coherent beat, no single melody, it was like a mix of all his thoughts in one groovy tune. Some parts were smooth and others were rough like sandpaper, and he continued the mini concert in his thoughts till he felt himself slipping off. 

Perhaps his brain had tired himself out after basically creating an entire song in seconds because just as quickly as he had put himself into bed, he was drifting into slumber. It was silent at first, not a hint of a dream, until his vision began to distort and he was pulled into a hazy image. 

_It was night, and things appeared to play out like the very first dream he had experienced. He was running through the streets of an all to familiar district, his own district._

_Unlike the previous nightmare, this one barely let him collect himself before he was, literally, thrown into the action. He only registered what had happened after his back hit the concrete, and his gaze was looking into the cloudy night sky. Drops of cold water hit his face, and stung his eyes as he blinked them away. The ache of his left arm pulled him to look at whatever had just interrupted his sprint._

_A fair distance away was a figure clad in all black, heavy army boats stomping towards him. A collection of silver metal armor adorned their outfit, reflected the flickering light of the streetlamps nearby. Most striking was the mask with the number 0 printed in bright yellow covering their face. They were holding what appeared to be a whip, which Chan surmised was what had knocked him down seconds ago._

_It took him seconds to realize what was standing before him and pure fear settled into his bones. Although it was something he had only read about in textbooks, seeing an actual Peacekeeper face to face was truly terrifying. Just like their counterparts, peacekeepers similarly had the 0 printed mask, differentiated by bright yellow instead of deep red of the Operator’s. Yellow as a warning, a warning that if you crossed their path you wouldn’t walk away without a few bruises and a couple broken bones. They were notorious for mistreatment, and Chan was now literally face to face with one. Even if none of this was real, the fear could not be misplaced as imagination._

_He felt his heart skip a beat, before his brain kicked in and called his frozen body into action. He pulled at the whip wrapped around his forearm, it dug into his body painfully and he winced as he dug his fingers underneath it in an attempt to loosen the hold. It must have been made with a special type of metal, something flexible but strong. It dug into his bicep and left painful burn marks any time it rubbed against his skin._

_It wasn’t until a boot collided with his face that he knew he had to think of something else, and quickly if he wished to keep any of his bones in tact. The Peacekeeper was over him now, and with a boot crushing his temple and a whip keeping him in place he felt hopeless momentarily._

_Something in him shifted though, like a pull and he felt his gaze lingering on the Mask in contemplation. He felt it, like a burning in the pit of his stomach, and with a last ditch effort at freedom he grasped the feeling and let it grow, let it burn right through his core. It was like fire in his veins, and sweat dripped into his eyes as he continued to sink into the blazing flames in his gut._

_The peacekeeper froze, like time had stopped and Chan stared up at it frozen in shock himself. They began grasping at their head and releasing pained screams as whatever Chan had done overtook their brain_ . _It was exactly what Chan needed to escape, and he made quick work of the whip now that it was no longer pulled tight, sparing only a small glance at the now whimpering peacekeeper on the ground._

_He began running off once more. Minutes passed by just running. His throat burned and he felt a headache from the crushing force his skull had endured earlier._ _Just like the 2 dreams previously, it all felt incredibly real, and Chan had to come to terms that something wasn’t right; that he was changing._

_Just like the last dreams, he couldn’t pull himself from it. Couldn’t shake himself awake and out of the nightmare, he felt trapped, and even more pressing was the appearance of 2 more Peacekeepers in front of him._ _He diverted his path, turning off into an unfamiliar side road and hoped it wasn’t a dead end-- It was. Now he was really trapped._

_He stopped looking up at the side of the building which loomed before him, mocking his escape. Glancing over his shoulder, he watched as the two Peacekeepers paused at the opening of the alley, both their weapons drawn, a stun gun and some form of a long sword respectively. The gleaming metal made Chan shiver. He backed away even if he didn’t have anywhere to run, he wanted enough space between them as possible. Before the inevitable, he thought._

_They pressed forward again, Chan swiftly looked around at his surroundings, hoping desperately for some plan to magically form in his brain, but as his mind attempted to form some coherent thought the peacekeepers were suddenly in front of him, pushing him back with threatening jabs towards his abdomen._

_“This is some sick game to you guys, ain’t it?” His voice was rough, gravelly in fact, and it was filled with such a thick layer of malice it made Chan shiver. The two figures didn't respond, only looked on and raised their weapons higher, ready to strike._

_“Tch-” He scoffed, “Ya’ll never talk, think you’re better than ‘’erybody just cuz’ you work for Sector 0. Well let me tell you, I ain’t going down without a fight.” Chan felt like a puppet, the words left his mouth before he processed them, and soon he was holding his hands up and curling them into fists. He felt powerful, even beside two peacekeepers, he felt as if he had a chance. So he gave them a fight._

_It was a quick progression of swings, doges, and painful jabs. It left Chan wheezing as he clutched his side after being aggressively hit with the blunt end of the Peacekeeper’s long sword. Despite his attempts at actually defending himself, and his surprisingly swift reflexes he was still quickly pushed into a corner, his back now effectively against the wall, blood pooling in his mouth from a nasty hit to his face._

_Looking on at the masked faces before him, his face bloody, bruised, blossoming into a grimace, he knew why people feared the Peacekeepers. They never spoke, never gave away who they were, they simply came at you with experienced force and there was hardly anything you could do about it._

_In his small moment of thought his feet had been kicked from under him, and he was once again staring up at the gloomy sky. It seemed to reflect his fate, he thought morbidly, and a hand snaked its way to his neck. It pressed down, and his throat closed from the force. Sheer panic fell over him as he put his hands out to press at the face of the Peacekeeper that was straddling his body._

_Suffocation was a slow and painful way to die. Chan knew that now, as all the air was forced from his body, as he was unable to replenish what was lost and the sick burning of his lungs made tears sting his eyes. It was slow, it was agonizing and he wanted it to stop. To wake up. It wasn’t even a dream anymore, he was living this._

_Seconds ticked on, he felt the edge of his vision blur, the yellow 0 of the mask above him going slowly out of focus. The last thing he would see, the damn yellow 0 as it mocked him, told him he wasn’t strong enough to beat the inevitable._

_I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t- His chanting was interrupting. It was cut off by one of the loudest sounds he had ever heard, a sharp ear piercing screech as all the lights in the vicinity flickered off and back on, and like it hadn’t even happened he was quickly pulled back into reality, back into the safety of his bedroom._

His eyes flew open, the contents of his room were thrown everywhere, his heart was racing out of his chest and a cold sweat covered his body. The ground was shaking, and Chan feared death for a second time that night, by an earthquake no less. Then just as soon as it had started it was gone, and everything settled once more. 

He let the calm sink in. The seemingly impossible quiet aftermath of whatever experience had just occurred. It could hardly corral his thoughts, each moment chasing after the next until his head ached. Quickly his focus was pulled to the hallway outside his room, on the hushed voices whispering from the other side of his bedroom door. It seemed like an argument, and Chan wondered why his parents would be arguing about checking up on him right after they had just had an earthquake. 

Except- that voice was not his father. That voice was not his mother. Those voices weren't his parents. Suddenly Chan thought about the dreams. Thought about the sudden Insomnia, and about the unexplainable aspects each dream seemed to hold. Chan’s normal world wasn't so normal anymore, and as if to explain how correct his new assumptions had been the door to his room flung open and two Operator’s walked right into his room. 

“Bang Chan of District 5, you are hereby arrested under the pretense of infection by Virus SKZ. Go willingly and we will be gracious with your treatment, fight us and we will use any force necessary to make you comply.” A man, situated behind the two Operators wore a clean white coat, a pair of glasses sat on his face and his stance held power, held superiority. This doctor was one who knew he was better than others, this doctor didn’t want to help Chan, he feared for his life a third time that night. 

The man was standing beside his mother and father, neither would meet his gaze. Something in Chan broke finally, like a damn busted open by the sheer force of the water flowing around it. The world he has built up, the supports he had made, the understandings he had. It all fell apart at the harsh gazes set against him. The trust he held for his family, it was shattered in seconds. One look at his parents told him he was no longer Bang Chan of District 5, he was a Stray, he was something _they_ feared. 

“I- I don’t have the Virus? I’m…” His voice faltered, he was telling himself a clear lie, “I’m normal!” It was a helpless assumption. 

“Chan-ssi, you don’t honestly believe that do you?” The doctor questioned, no humor in his sarcastic tone. “You’re a smart boy, I’m sure you’ve figured some things out by now, but shall I explain a little to calm you down? I promise we will help you, just trust us okay?” 

_Bullshit_ , “Okay…” 

“Good, now have you noticed some strange changes lately? Anything really?” The man glanced at Chan’s bedside, to his nightstand, seeing the fluorescent orange of his pill bottle and a smirk tugged on his lips. Something cold and not the least bit comforting to Chan in the moment. 

“Uh- Um Insomnia?” Chan guessed, knowing it must have been the answer the doctor wanted, because the man was smiling now. 

“Ah, Insomnia yes, that’ll be a change to look for. It started suddenly right? That’s how it always starts. One small thing that slowly gets worse until eventually your power materializes. It’s one of the things we research, it’s how we can help you Chan.” The man’s words appeared comforting, but something hidden in his gaze unnerved Chan and he found himself looking towards his parents, as if for assurance but he couldn’t find anything in their stare, not even a hint of love or worry, just contempt and fear. 

“They agreed to this Chan.” The doctor’s tone was harsher now, the man stepping into Chan’s view to block his parents from sight. “They want what’s best for you, they love you and they want to see you get better.” 

_You’re lying_ , “I don’t have any power.” He said, masking the pain of his thoughts with doubt, with rejection of the situation. 

“Of course you do Chan, we’ve been monitoring you lately,” Chan’s blood ran cold. When could they have possibly been around him? How long had they been following him? 

“Your readings have been off the charts. You must have noticed something? In fact, just before we came in we received a reading from you, before it was suddenly disrupted by the earthquake. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you Chan?” His voice was laced with honey covered poison. Sweet to the ears but filled with hidden intention. Chan knew this man didn’t want to help, none of them did. 

“I- I don’t understand…” His voice cracks painfully, and tears sting his eyes as he looks at the mess before him, finally taking in every part of the situation, and things seem to click. He remembers the first night after taking his pills. That first dream that felt so real, then the second dream. The one that ended abruptly right before the accident that left him numb for days, then tonight. That explosion, the earthquake… It wasn't a coincidence. All those dreams had actually happened, he had been there to see it happen. He was in somebody else’s head. Realization has struck him like a truck. 

The doctor read his expression and a chilling smirk crept across his face, “I think you do understand Chan, and I’m sure you understand we can’t waste anymore time. Come with us, and things will be okay,” The man holds out his hand.

_It won’t be okay, It will never be okay._ He knew he couldn’t fight it. Even if he wanted to run away, and wanted to reject their offer, it would only give them the opportunity to beat him, just like the boy in his dream. So he reached out, took the hand of a man who Chan knew was about to steal him from his family, from his district, from his home. He couldn’t do anything about it, and for a fourth time that night Chan feared for his life. 

The next few minutes went by in a blur. The operators placed small cuffs around his wrists, ushered him out the door with only a glance towards his parents. They didn’t look at him, but he was sure if he met their eyes he wouldn’t find any love. He wasn’t their son anymore, he knew that now but the hurt was still there. The knife was still sunk deep into his heart. 

Outside sits a single white van, pristine white. Something about it was familiar for Chan, and with a small glance he read the plate- Sec. 0034. He stored it in his memory, a part of him telling him the information was important. They all shuffle around, pulling open the back doors to the vehicle, and all Chan can see is cold metal bars, something to keep him contained, _like an animal._

This is what he has to expect, _this is what they do to something like him_ , he scolds himself harshly. His self hatred coming back like a storm. Something to sink his flimsy boat even further into the abyss of his brain. 

Eventually, the doctor comes back from within the house, a small cream envelope in his hand and his gaze lands back on Chan, a smile falls upon the man’s greasy face. It was a face Chan has come to hate. 

“Glad you’re cooperating Chan, I promise nothing bad will happen to you when you’re with me. Let’s hurry off now, I want to be out of this district before the sun rises.” The way he says it, the way he talks about his district like it’s something dirty in his mouth sends Chan off the edge. He clenches his hands into fists, digs his nails into the skin of his palm. Grinds his teeth together to keep from saying something he would regret in the moment. He lets his hate boil, lets his blocked anger slowly rise. It wasn’t an emotion he felt often, but right now it was all he could comprehend, his vision was red. 

It was time. Time to face his fate, he took a fleeting glance at his surroundings. At his district, his home, the place he thought he’d spend the rest of his life. It was time to say goodbye, but he felt he should have left something more behind, gave himself a chance to follow his dreams instead of relegating himself to medially part time work at a DJ shop. He hated himself then, more than he has ever hated anything in his life. He hated how weak he had become. He hated his parents for letting him fall complacent in life, he hated the people around him. He hated the world and it’s sick biased views. 

While he was stuck in a pool of his emotion, a commotion had broken out around him. He was only pulled from his mind when he took notice of the screaming. Then at the hunched figures around him. 

The screaming, it wasn’t from his surroundings, it was coming straight from his brain, right into his thoughts and the words startled Chan to action. 

“Run!,” It shouted once, Chan barely took in the voice, his eyes whizzing around taking in the pained expression on the doctor’s face, the shaking figures of the Operator’s as they clutched their heads painfully. 

“I said run! Run Chan and don’t look back. **_RUN!_ **” 

He didn’t think twice after that, pulling out the keys from one of the masked men he ran, and ran. Ran until his lungs burned and his vision blurred from exhaustion, but he kept going. He went forwards, toward a new fate. 

This time. He wouldn’t let himself down, wouldn’t hold himself back. He wanted to try again. 

So he ran. 

_And ran._

**END: Insomnia**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have started a Playlist for this story! I shall link it and the document which explains which part goes with what. It will continue to update as I add to the story, so I hope you can enjoy the music I felt fits best with each new element lol <3 
> 
> Playlist- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2DLfjYp6O8wTkNO9ZhTgRL?si=mHQjIUOyQkWUKmTclWrrFg (Don't play on shuffle) 
> 
> Document- https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F5TeD00FDI605OybH4Zm_HFAjhuxT92TuXjtxD8Hx88/edit?usp=sharing


	6. Agitation Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have moved on from Chan and now we are with Changbin. 
> 
> This is all occurring in tandem with Chan's chapters, so keep that in mind while reading.   
> I'm sorry if my updates are a little slow for this, it takes a lot of my energy to write such heavy plot centered writing and I have just started a new job so my time has been decreased lately. 
> 
> I'll be working on this and my other work for Stray Kids so keep an eye out for that, and I also have a few things in the works for some other groups. 
> 
> This chapter also has a small cameo from another idol, if you can figure out who I'll give you a star lol <: Anyway, enjoy this new chapter and I'll see you again sooon - <3

**Agitation Pt. 1**

_ Tick tock tick tock  _

30 seconds pass by, the classroom remains silent, save for a hushed whisper in the back of the room. 

_ Tick tock  _

A minute now, still silent but the teacher turns his gaze up from the work he was grading, all eyes remain on their paper, save for a single pair who stares at the teacher in retaliation. 

_ Tick tock tick tock  _

“Seo Changbin-”  _ There it is _ , the boy thinks finally. The teacher opens his mouth to warn Changbin to focus on his work. The boy in question smirks to himself, shuffling to collect his things nonchalantly. 

Then the bell rings, interrupting the tense moment and startling almost everyone in the room. Almost everyone. Changbin had been counting the time since he had started his quiet war with the authoritative figure in the front of the room. One second at a time, he would repeat in his head as the clock would tick in tandem. Like a form of weird hyper focused meditation. 

He hurried to finish stuffing his notebook into his bag, hearing the teacher’s attempt to reign in Changbin’s attention once more, to continue his scolding but the boy wouldn’t let it go any further. It was his favorite game after all, just seeing how many of his teachers he could get to call him out before the bell rang and he could escape unharmed. 

They never caught on, always forgot about it the next day and he’d simply start all over. He hadn’t known when he started this silly game of pushing the boundaries, maybe since the beginning? He’d reminisce scornfully, remembering the countless times his parents would look at him and his actions with disappointment. Maybe he was just meant to anger those above him. Maybe this was his calling in life. Maybe he was nothing more than a disappointing  _ rebellious teen.  _

  
  


It was something he heard almost daily. From his family, his peers, even the school faculty. It was never to his face of course. It was always shared between hushed whispers late in the evening from within the kitchen or in the hall when he passed by and those around him thought he was out of earshot. 

_ “That Seo guy is scary…”  _

_ “I heard his parents want to send him away, down to district 8.”  _

They would laugh haughtily at the prospect, like it was the best and worst thing that could happen to anyone from their district,  _ cozy district 2 _ . He’d scoff to himself, turning to whomever had been gossiping behind him and gave his signature glare. It shut them up but he was sure he’d hear about it later from his counselor something about, ‘pressuring’ another student or something stupid. 

Just another day in the life of  _ Seo Changbin. _ School loner, misunderstood badass (self proclaimed), that was Seo Changbin. 

School after classes had ended was just as bustling, if not more abuzz with energy than during the day. It was like a switch had been flipped and students found it to be the perfect time for mingling and mindless gossiping. Instead of attending their extra activities most would linger until they were warned by passing teachers about the time. Changbin might be a loner, but if he had to admit one of his guilty pleasures it would be sitting down in the school courtyard after hours and listening to the conversations around him. 

It was his way of involving himself with others without actually needing to conversate with anyone. He learned about Jennie’s new crush and how he was so much better than her ex. He learned about Woo and his flirting habit, how it angered his boyfriend but they still made it work. One small bit of information at a time he would take in and form stories in his head, write melodies about the drama around him. Most of the time he was ignored and he enjoyed the gossip that was spread, but occasionally he would see the worst of his school, of his district. 

The boy was about as unfortunate as you could get when swimming in a place filled with sharks. It wasn’t his fault that he was able to work, _ and work hard  _ to achieve a place in a school above his district. In fact it was admirable if Changbin had any say, it would be something he could never achieve. He watched as the kid was pushed, shoved, mocked and ridiculed for his class, for being just a tiny bit different than the others. It was something Changbin avoided because of his intimidation and the fact his family was so notorious in Sector 0. The bullying never reached him even if he was as different as a butterfly in a swarm of moths. He watched but he didn’t step in. Some part of his heart always told him to help, but his brain would jump in and tell him to keep his low profile. So he ignored the pull in his chest and turned a blind eye. Maybe one day, when he was more open about himself he would be able to help kids like that, but that wasn’t today and probably wouldn't be tomorrow, or the next. 

He was a coward. Self proclaimed coward. 

Afterwards he would head home. Leaving behind the mocking calls of the bullies and the sad whimpers of their victim. He would leave and he wouldn't look back. 

_ Seo Changbin is a coward. _

* * *

  
  


Home was a word that held little meaning for Changbin. It was a place that haunted his mind and followed him like a shadow. It wasn’t somewhere he could release all his worries about the day or relax and laugh off his stress. It wasn’t a place of love and comfort. It was a place where his differences stood out as plain as day for him and his family to witness. 

It was the fact he was just a step behind in his studies compared to his younger siblings or how the looks his father gives him sends cold shivers through his core. The pure unfiltered disappointment in the older man's gaze always informed Changbin that he was the black sheep of the Seo clan. It wasn’t a home for Changbin, it was a cell. 

Home for Changbin was a place away from his family, away from his district, away from the responsibility he had to carry on the family business when he was older. It was far away and filled with music, the one thing that gave him comfort in the war zone of his home. It drowned out the arguments from the kitchen, washed away the critical remarks from his younger sisters, and filled him with dreams for a future outside the walls of his cage. 

The music Changbin loved was more than a way to block out his troubles, it was a release from a sad reality. It left his cold heart just a little warmer than normal. Gave him just a little more hope to keep going forward with his life. That was the music he loved. It was also something he could fight back with against his family. Perhaps it falls back towards his rebellious nature against any form of authority but his parents, especially his mother hated anything but straight classical. He could irritate them simply by playing it a little louder and singing along a little more enthusiastically. 

Of course it risked them taking away his speakers and blocking his access to his phone, but he’d find a way to get it back, he always found a way in the end. 

* * *

Changbin returned home just before the sun began to set. The orange sky is clear and the temperature was pleasantly warm despite it being about time for fall to claim the trees and force everyone into sweaters. Just cresting the hill at the end of his street the _ home _ he so greatly despised came into view. It was a typical district 2 home. Perfect lawn, expensive architecture, and a top of the line security system. The grey walls gleamed with polished metal that reflected bright orange in the shade of the setting sun. It looked as if it was on fire, _ burning but still intact. _

He approached slowly, his steps taking a more cautious gate as he prepared himself for another evening of alienation. The front door that was almost a whole person taller than Changbin was now in front of him. It took up his view and loomed above him like an impassible obstacle. It was a piece of hand carved wood from some little piece of land miles away from his own, maybe as some way to incorporate a little culture into the stale sanitized atmosphere of the entire house. Changbin never thought it helped, just made the gap of their ignorance about the districts and the world more apparent if he was being honest. All in all it was all one hell of an expensive prison. 

The door swung open, quite forcefully, as Changbin put his entire body weight into the beast of an entryway. A breath of cool artificially scented air brushed his face as he dragged his tired feet inside. A quiet foyer greeted him and he silently hoped it meant he was alone and would be alone for the rest of the evening. An empty home meant he didn’t need to stay hidden away in his room and could linger around in the main part of the house without worrying if he was going to run into his parents or sisters. The rare times he was actually alone he could fill the house with music of any range of artists, from hip hop to EDM, he could play it all. That thought alone brought a hesitant smile to his lips and he hoped that was how his evening would play out. 

The first place he headed towards was the kitchen, to deposit his bag and find himself a snack before he would ultimately have to make his own dinner. His quiet footsteps pattered along the cold polished concrete floor, as the silence of the room seemed to sink into his gut. Something felt a little off, and normally a silent home brought him peace, but this silence seemed heavy. Maybe because it was silent, but also incredibly _ loud _ \- 

The ticking of the clock on the wall, how it seemed to echo in his brain. 

_ Tick Tock Tick Tock _ \- he felt the repetition in his fingers and down to his toes, a creeping feeling of frustration breached his mind. 

All of it overwhelmed his senses from the sound of his breathing as he attempted to calm down his surge of anger, to the unexplainable shift in his mood. It made everything appear in hyper focus. 

_ This isn’t right- break the silence-  _

“Oh Changbin!” 

The shrill voice startled him out of his stupor and his tunneled vision came back to focus on the reality around him. He was in the kitchen now, and standing before him was his mother with her eyebrows raised in confusion. She was standing by the island, a small bowl of cut fruit before her and a large pile of papers stacked in a cream folder in her hands. She was a picture of perfection, perfectly styled black hair; black like Changbin’s. Her skin barely reflected her own age and she wore a formal blouse and skirt combo with pointy tipped slip on flats. Her features held harsh lines and intimidating structure. Changbin took that roughness, but mixed it in with all the baby fat and soft edges from his father. 

“Are you okay Changbin? You look a little pale sweetheart?” The nickname fully pulled him from his haze of thoughts and he took a small breath to collect himself before replying. 

“M’fine mom,” He gave a tight lipped smile to reassure her. He knew she must want something- she only ever used pet names with him if that was the case. 

She smiled back at him in return, just as forced as his own before clearing her throat and snapping shut the folder in her hands. “I was wondering if you could help me out with something?” She asked him. 

_ There it was-  _ “Sure mom, what do you need?” 

“This folder here-” She held it out for him to inspect, “I need you to take this to your uncle’s lab, it was meant to be delivered earlier today but my secretary forgot to add it to the mail stack. It needs to be there by the end of the work day but I’m about to leave for dinner with your father. You’d be a dear and do this for me won’t you?” 

He paused to think about her explanation and to take in the expression of her face. Although she had asked him like it was an offer he could refuse, the small glare in her irises told him if he tried to reject helping it would only end up with him in some hot water. So he nodded in acceptance. 

“Sure mom, I’ll bring it by his office. The one here or the one-” 

“The lab in district 1” 

“O-kay-” He drew out his reply. He was a little irked at her interruption of his questions and the clipped tone of her voice but kept any of his snarky retorts in his head. 

His mother dropped the folder onto the table and glanced at her watch quickly. “I need to leave now.  **_Do not_ ** forget to do this for me okay? These papers are important and you wouldn’t want to see me upset after giving you this responsibility alright?” She gave him no time to respond to her threats before circling the island and shuffling towards the front door where her car must have been waiting to pick her up outside. Before she could completely vacate the house she turned to him one last time. A warning lay in her gaze as she glanced from him then to the folder, “And don’t go looking where you shouldn’t Changbin.” 

She left him with her warning hanging in the air around him and the slamming of the front door as it reverberated around the house. He took a sharp breath in to calm his pounding heart and looked towards the folder. He felt like it would burn an impression of itself into their island counter. The weight of whatever might be inside seeming to weigh it down like a ton of bricks in his mind. It was all hypothetical, but he felt like it was something dangerous, life changing even. Normally his mother left errands like this to him and it never implied it might be something more than simple notes or research reports. This- this left an obvious strain on her, and clearly he was her only option to get it safely into the right hands. 

_ Or were they the wrong hands? _

Looking down at the folder once more as it sat on the island it looked completely innocent, just a bundle of papers. He wondered what could actually be written on them. Maybe it was some formula to cure all sickness, something that they’d develop but never give out to anybody below district 3. Maybe it was a way to mind control a person, some weird invention that would allow them to control people more than they already were. 

None of the possibilities gave him any comfort, but he found no way to get around this,  _ so he did what he did best and ignored the problem, turning to his silence instead.  _

He tore his eyes from the folder and threw down his bag from school on one of the stools by the island. Then quickly turned and headed towards his room. He took the steps up towards the second floor two at a time before ending up outside his room, the place he might love if it wasn’t in a home filled with such negative memories. He hadn’t been allowed to paint his walls or hang things up like other teens but he made it his space as much as possible. From the sheets on his bed or the small stack of albums by all the bands he loves in the corner. It was the little things that brought a small piece of himself into this home. He might not love it but it was a place that still held meaning to him. He shut the door quietly behind himself as he breathed in the familiar scent of honey and pine. The calming mix of smells eased his tight muscles while he moved to change his clothes and collect his longboard, the one his parents didn’t know about and the one he had obtained illegally a few months ago. It wasn’t that transportation like this was banned in District 2, but the fact that it was branded for a lower District (District 6 he believes) is what made it illegal. The rule was stupid if he had any say about it, but one thing about the higher districts is they held themselves in high regard, high standards, and anything below them was dirty and unnecessary. 

After he was cleanly changed and equipped with a faster mode of transportation for his errand he headed back down to the kitchen to collect the last few things for the ride to the lab. Ignoring the folder he made his way to the fridge and grabbed an apple and a bottle of water that he shoved in the pocket of his hoodie. Then he finally faced the object laying on the counter. With a heavy heart and a sullen mood he grabbed the folder and shoved it into his bag that he discarded earlier. He knew if he let it sit in his hands he’d want to look inside. It wasn’t that he was a super curious person but something told him if he knew what was inside maybe he could keep whatever bad thing it would cause from happening. It was just silly ideas his head invented to make this errand harder than it was. So he pushed it all aside, moved to exit the house and threw the board onto the ground. He let his eyes trail up towards the sky. It was painted in a mosaic of beautiful tones of orange and purple, hints of pink around the edges of the clouds. That was how he spent the last few minutes of the day, watching as it slipped towards night and counting the stars as they appeared. 

He was like a setting sun. Bright with potential, but always designed to move on. He held his silence in school, held his silence at home, and held his silence as he went on his way. 

Seo Changbin was a coward who was always destined to set into darkness. 

_ A Coward.  _


	7. Agitation Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Right so I understand that the club layout is high key confusing, but I promise it makes sense it my brain and that's what matters. I'm kidding, I'll get more explanation for it later, but for now we live with what we get this took me way to long to write :/ I'll be updating this every other week on either Wednesday or Thursday! So keep a look out for the next chapter! You guys are awesome, enjoy <3)

**Agitation Pt.2**

Changbin felt the bass as it pounded against the tacky holographic walls. It vibrated around the room and sank deep into his chest and crept into his muscles. It tingled his fingertips and left him dizzy hours after leaving. 

Flashing lights strobed in a rainbow of colors and distorted his vision. Sweating bodies pressed together and jostled him around the crowded dance floor like a ragdoll. It smelled of cheap perfume and even cheaper booze. 

But- It was all familiar. Even if it was too crowded or the music was too loud. It was familiar to Changbin. He would always find his way back to this place. 

_ Club D.A.W.N. _

It was a place that sat just outside of district 6, right outside the walls on the outskirts of the abandoned district 9. It was a hidden gem among dozens of crumbling buildings. 

Changbin still remembers the day he was informed about the club's existence. It was by a ‘friend’ somebody who gave out information and sold illegal contraband from other districts. He vaguely recalls complaining about his boredom or something along the lines and the kid selling him his new longboard laughed quietly at his plight. 

_ Let me help you dude-  _

The guy had said and slipped a paper into his hands, gave him a little wink and said, ‘ _ 11:00pm sharp. You won’t regret it.’  _

So he went. 

Followed the instructions and ended up in a little back door location just outside the walls of District 6 but technically sitting in neutral territory. He was skeptical of course, and maybe a little sketched out. 

If it was meant to cure his boredom it certainly seemed very modest in appearance, if not a little rundown. The walls were crumbling and the paint had longed peeled and left exposed concrete in its place. Looking at the buildings surrounding it he had plenty of reason to assume it could collapse at any second. 

And if the safety didn’t make him turn around then the prospect of being kidnapped and sold certainly sank into his head. First of all he had gone without telling anybody, (not like he could have said ‘ _ hey mom I’m gonna go to some shady address a stranger gave me _ ’ and would and have actually been allowed anywhere near the location) but he was, if not anything; reckless, young, and a little stupid. 

So he thought if this was how he died, then that was how it was and approached the structure in front of him with mock confidence. 

He glanced upwards at the building. It was large but inconspicuous, perfect for something illegal. Little character besides a few untasteful pieces of graffiti tagged on the outer wall of its deceptive shell. He wouldn’t guess a place like this held anything worth his time, but as he grew closer a deep black door called out to him. It was polished and glowed in the moonlight of the evening, and a bright red door frame surrounded it, calling curious eyes to discover the secrets within. It clearly had been painted to draw attention to those who wished to find it. 

He paused before approaching fully and his thoughts seemed to crack a little. That confidence slipped as he began to doubt his actions. He shouldn’t be in a place like this. He was a district 2 rich boy who grew up swaddled in wealth, he didn’t belong in a place where individuals broke the rules for fun and money held no wager in who won a fight. 

That wasn’t him...  _ But maybe it was _ . 

He might have been scared, maybe a little out of his element but he wanted to find  _ something _ . Would it give him a way to escape from his life, even if for only a couple seconds? That was what he wanted to discover, and so he placed his doubts in the back of his skull and walked up to the black door. 

One, two, three knocks before stepping back and waiting. The air around him seemed frozen, and he held his breath as he counted the seconds before the little hatch on the front of the door swung open and a pair of honey colored cat-like eyes gazed back at him. 

“Sapere” a soft voice called from within and Changbin recalled the pair of scribbled words at the bottom of the paper slip he was given. He quickly rushed to pull it from his jacket pocket, crumbled but still legible. He read over the phrase in his head.

“Aude” He answered back with some slight hesitancy and before he could question if he had done things correctly or not the eyes retreated back and the latched door was swung open with a deep groan. 

From first inspection the door opened to a room that was painted all in red, from the ceiling to the floor it was like entering the lobby to hell, and somehow that made him chuckle. Faint music was playing from somewhere far deeper into the building and the boy who had answered him stepped out from behind the black door and gave Changbin a welcoming smile. 

“Welcome to Club D.A.W.N.” He greeted with a warm tone, “I’m assuming this is your first time.” The boy who was standing before him looked at Changbin with curious eyes. He was a dainty figure but stood a good couple inches taller (not much of a difficult task when Changbin was well under the average height of most boys his age) His hair was a soft honey brown, swept in a side quiff and gelled to keep its shape. He wore a simple tux minus the jacket and replaced it with a cute pair of red suspenders. His smile was full and innocent yet he spoke like he was mature beyond his years. Changbin immediately assumed he was the younger one and gave the boy a polite bow in greeting. 

“It is yeah, just wanted to check it out I guess” Changbin replied with a wall of ice behind his words. The boy might have been welcoming but he was still a stranger and Changbin didn’t want to give away too much of himself right away. He had a tough boy persona to maintain, or so he told himself. 

“Of course,” If he picked up on Changbin’s guarded tone or not he couldn’t tell but he maintained a friendly attitude as he continued, “We welcome you here, you don’t have to worry about anyone judging you for any whys or hows. Follow me and I’ll give you a small tour.” He took in Changbin’s slight hesitancy and added, “Only if you want, you can explore alone if you’d prefer.” 

Changbin watched the boy for a couple seconds after his offer and although he preferred being alone he also didn’t really want to get lost in the process of being a loner, and reluctantly agreed to the tour. 

“Can you just leave the door unattended though?” Changbin suddenly asked and the boy turned and gave a sheepish grin. 

“Oh- don’t worry about that, I’ll find somebody on the way to watch it for me.” 

Changbin simply shrugged at his explanation and they walked from the entrance and down a staircase. It was old and really made him worry about the structural safety of the building once again. After voicing his concern Changbin was assured they hadn’t had anyone break through a step before and he’d be fine. From the looks at the patchy repairment job somebody had done on one of the steps he didn’t believe it but kept his complaints to himself and prayed he wasn’t actually walking to his death. 

After the staircase, it opened into a long extended basement of sorts, and he could tell from the reverb of whatever music was playing down the hall they were underground. The room was large, and had an empty bar beside another descending staircase and a set of lounge furniture in the center surrounding a stage which he assumed was for dancers when the place was used. Looking around again he guessed this room was at one point a practice room for a dance studio, because it still had a wall of mirrors and a bar on one wall, a distant memory from what it was used for now. The walls had been covered in a layer of peeling red paint, over concrete that was covered in years of graffiti. He silently wondered if they had allowed people the freedom to spray paint the walls as decoration, something to really add to the illegality of this entire establishment's existence. 

He kept the question on his tongue as they walked further into the basement towards the bar and the boy began explaining. “This is actually a club I run with a few of my close friends, my name is Joshua by the way. It was silly of me not to introduce myself earlier.” Joshua gave Changbin a very shy smile before gesturing to the series of closed doors lining the room. “This part of the club is kind of like a quiet zone, right before we enter the actual club. These rooms can be rented out by people, we have ones for music production and some for lounging but we also have two bedrooms for- more intimate situations.” His voice wobbled towards the end of his statement and Changbin gave him a look with raised eyebrows. “We rent them out safely, um we-” 

“Look you don’t have to explain anything to me, it’s your business you can run it how you like and I’m sure it’s useful for some people.” Changbin assured. 

“Right, yeah. Let’s continue on then.” Walking around the center dance stage Joshua ran his hand along one of the couches and looked back at Changbin. “We use this part of the club during weekends or for special events. Sometimes we hold parties and since this is smaller than the main floor it’s perfect to keep an eye on rowdy guests.” 

“What was this before you turned it into a club?” He finally asked, the curiosity forcing out one of his questions. 

“Oh-” Joshua seemed to think for a second. His brows knitted together and he placed a hand on his hip in thought. “I think it was a performing arts school, but we can’t really be sure. We found this after looking for- somewhere out of the way and since most of the buildings around here are more or less destroyed we took what we could find. Didn’t really ask any questions about it’s history, but we got lucky.” 

His answer appeased Changbin and they continued the tour. They walked down the staircase and Changbin had to fight out the ironic voices telling him he really was walking towards hell. Instead of being painted red these walls were pitch black, and the lights had been swapped with moody colored bulbs that washed the area in blues and purples. 

The music that had been forever in the background began forming coherent melodies and the vibrations slowly crept into his toes and made him itch in anticipation. 

Changbin stopped as the reality of the setting sank in, the boy in front paused as well and looked at him with a tilted head. “Joshua, why did you decide to make this club? You’d have to have known how dangerous this could be? If you’re found out, if anyone is discovered here we’re practically dead.” Somehow, even if this place seemed like Changbin’s true escape and gave him a wave of adrenaline that he had a severe lack of in his life he wanted to know more- needed to know if the boy before him shared his mentality about life. 

“We knew and we know. We didn’t make this because we were afraid. We made this because we wanted to be unafraid. Wanted to be free.” Joshua spoke for the first time that night with real confidence. The way he addressed the question made Changbin see a hidden strength behind the boy's reserved personality. 

Like Changbin who was hard, and a little jagged, somebody who was gentle and smooth could realize that life was more then a district and more then the money. 

_ It was about living, not conforming.  _

“Even if we get caught, it won’t take back any of the memories we made here. Some people tell us it’s like walking off a cliff, but honestly- I’m gliding” He smiled, true and all teeth and Changbin couldn’t keep himself from returning it, just a little more reserved. 

They continued and finally they entered into a small entranceway, two large metal doors on the opposite wall. The music was deafening, but Changbin loved it. He loved the painful way his bones seemed to rattle, and he loved the feeling of being drenched in the rhythm. 

“This is the main floor-” Joshua attempted to yell over the noise and gave a sheepish shrug when Changbin simply nodded in response. Instead of talking Joshua took Changbin’s arm and dragged him towards the doors. At this point his body was practically vibrating with a flood of feelings. From excitement to pure adrenaline; he was finally somewhere that warmed his frigid heart. They busted open the doors and a wave of heat swathed into Changbin’s face and he blinked his eyes to adjust from the strobing LEDs. 

It was- 

A little too crowded, a little too loud, a little too messy and more than a little illegal but Changbin loved it. 

He found out Club D.A.W.N. was more than just a simple dance club. They hosted events known as Showdowns where people went and well- they had a showdown. That was where he learned he had a skill for rapping. Then he learned that besides from rapping he had a way with words. They flowed from him naturally when they were accompanied by a beat and a little rhyme. What he lacked in social skills in his daily life, he made up for that in his music. 

The boy who thought he was better off silent suddenly wanted people to hear him; to understand him. So he made his music and Joshua was probably the first friend Changbin had made in years. He encouraged him, and even offered the boy a place to stay if he ever decided to leave his house in district 2. It was a place that gave him a new definition for the word ‘home.’ 

It’s in this place now, where everything was a little too much but enough all at the same time that he thought back about his evening, 

_ about the boy with stars on his face and a voice like dark chocolate.  _

* * *

  
  


It happened when he had finally arrived at his uncle’s lab to give him his notes. The sky had just begun to grow cloudy and Changbin could feel the storm in the air. It was humid and smelled like wet moss, thunder even rumbled distantly. The air was chilled and if he took the time maybe he would have thought it was a sign for something, but he was never that observant or that superstitious. 

It rained all the time, and Changbin just wanted to race the storm home so he didn’t get soaked and regret his lack of forethought to just take a cab. 

He raced up the steps towards the building's main entrance. It was a wall of glass and his reflection, wind tousled midnight purple hair and dark baggy clothes, called out just how out of place he was among the scientist and the white coats. The guard manning the door gave Changbin a skeptical once over and rolled his eyes before buzzing open the door. He was well known among the guards at this point and they more or less knew him as Dr. Seo’s rebellious nephew. More than once he had to be escorted out forcefully by the security, he even knew the head guard by his full name and every time they gave Changbin a pass because of his uncle. It pissed him off honestly, but that was a part of his game. Pushing and pulling at his boundaries until one day he was given the reaction and even the punishment he was looking for. 

He walked through the glass doors and into the main lobby where the fresh citrus scent of cleaning solution hit him instantly. The temperature was a chilled 67 degrees and the room was filled with the tacky music from whatever radio station they had playing. It felt fake and static for his liking. The room was the definition of less is more. The walls remained empty besides the glossed chrome panels and the floor was a polished marble that may or may not be fake but nobody would give him a clear answer about it. A few sets of modern chairs which were made to look interesting but forwent any comfort accompanied by tables with magazines dated years ago adorned the corners of the room. The greeting desk sat square in the middle and the receptionist had yet to realize Changbin’s presence as she typed away at her keyboard. 

“Hello Miss XXX,” He greeted with faux politeness as she startled up from her screen. “I’m here to give my uncle some papers from my mother.” He walked up and leaned his body against the desk with a small smirk plastered to his lips. She paused her typing to scan his appearance and he tilted his head innocently at her dumbfounded staring. 

“Ah-,” She finally addressed him. She cleared her throat and set her gaze back down at her hands still frozen on the keyboard. “Right Mr. Changbin-ssi let me call him right now and tell him you’re here.” She moved to pull her chair out and swivel around to the phone but he held his hand out to stop her. 

“There isn’t any need to do that, I know where his office is. I can just leave it on his desk.” He gave a wide grin that may have hid some of his mischief. The best part about this place was how easy some of the staff was to deceive with his innocent charms and namesake. 

“Oh well-” She seemed to think about his offer and brushed some of her neatly groomed brown hair behind an ear. “I guess if you’re quick about it, you know he hates any unplanned disturbances.” 

“Of course Miss, I’ll be in and out without a sound he won’t even know I was here. I promise.” He placed a hand on his heart to really hit home his ‘sincerity.’ 

“Alright then,” She agreed slightly hesitant but shooed him away towards the door anyway with a flick of her hand and went back to whatever she had been writing before his disruption. He turned away with a proud grin and went on his way towards his uncle’s office on the 9th floor. 

The ride up in the elevator was silent except for the occasional ding from the floor indicator above the doors and the typical static music all elevator’s seemed to play. It was some robotic tune that repeated itself over and over and made Changbin want to pull out his hair every time it restarted its forever loop of noise. To distract himself from the sound he leaned his body back against the cool metal wall and looked out at the city below him. It slowly grew smaller and smaller the farther up he went, and the people below looked as small as ants. He felt intrigued and overwhelmed all at the same time. From the people who went about their business, completely ignorant to his eyes watching them to the skyscrapers and their millions of gleaming lights staring straight back at him. It was a bustling cove of energy and everything looked alive in the city at night. Above it all was the grey stormy skies, blocking out the moon and casting a gloomy mist across the farthest corners of the district before him. The light raindrops on the window obscured his view enough to bleed all the visuals together. If he was an artist he might find this as a perfect image to paint, filled with energy but just abstract enough to leave people wondering. 

He was pulled from his artistic observations as the elevator doors opened and the chime indicated he had arrived at his designated floor. Pulling his eyes away from the landscape outside he stepped off and into the quiet hallway of the 9th floor. Now normally when he visits it would be an early morning or sometime mid afternoon, but as the moon rises somewhere outside the floor appears oddly silent. He turned his gaze from left then right but found no signs of life and part of him thought he might have been alone but starting his walk down the corridor and sending quick glances into the foggy windows of the labs he could see the lights with shadowed bodies moving around inside. Despite his curiosity to take a closer look at whatever they might have been testing he knew he had a task to complete. Plus if he was being honest the labs always made him uncomfortable and left his stomach twisted in a tense knot. 

Unlike the comfort from the ‘too much’ energy of Club D.A.W.N. the labs on the 9th floor were too clean and too perfect. Too many rules and too many secrets overwhelmed him negatively. It was a place where he felt entirely out of his element and like a stranger even if his uncle was around. So he hurried himself down the hallway and prayed this would only take him a couple of minutes and then he could leave. 

Finally he stopped at the end of the hall where a door sat with the plaque that read  **“Dr. Seo Jichul”** on the front in bold golden font. He released a sigh of relief at seeing the familiar room. The smell of chemical cleaner was starting to give him a headache and he knew that his uncle's office always had the permanent scent of Vanilla and Oak and that was a welcome change from the sterile atmosphere of the hallways. He could relax for a couple seconds away from the blinding fluorescent lights above him and the polished floor that squeaked with every step he took. He reached for the door handle and jiggled it a couple times but found it locked and he gave a grunt of frustration at the situation. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” He cursed under his breath before looking up from the handle with scorn and turned to inspect the hallway. He was unsure what his next move should be. He thought maybe about finding another person and asking them to unlock the door but another part of him had half the sense just to slip the folder under the door and call it a day. 

He looked out at all the closed doors when a sudden rattling drew his attention. The sound felt all mechanical and entirely out of place among the silence. It drew his attention towards the door at the end of the hall. It was large, took up the entire end of the hallway. Along the front was the bright red insignia of a ‘0’ for Sector Zero. It marked the separation of the building which sat just between District 1 and Sector Zero. It was a part of the lab he was never allowed into but he was drawn to take a closer look just as the sound made an abrupt stop. He approached with cautious steps and he took in the futuristic mechanic’s of whatever the door was built with. He was only a few feet from being able to reach out and touch the metal when suddenly he felt all his blood rush towards his head and his vision seemed to blur. 

It was like earlier in his home and suddenly the air around him ignited with energy. He felt everything all at once. From the cold blast of the air conditioner to the static electricity running through the wires in the walls. It crawled up his skin and bristled the hairs along his body till he was practically trembling from the stimulation. Aside from the onslaught of energy he could hear the tiniest thrum of the mechanical parts in the door before him to the faintest sound of footsteps somewhere far off. It was all too much and he worried he might pass out at any second. His hand reached out towards the door and he leaned his body weight against it as he tried to regain some form of equilibrium. Looking down at the metal below his palm he watched as his reflection seemed to materialize and mock him with harsh eyes. His breath was deafening in his ears and he took large gasps of air as he heard a silent plea for him to open the door. It was like a subconscious pull wretched his hand forward and placed it on the opening mechanism and all he had to do was push but he forced himself to stop. The reflection before him egged him to hurry, but his brain had enough self control to tell him this was a bad idea and something was wrong. The voice in the back of his mind preached to him, it told him if he opened this it would release him from this spell of irrationality. He pressed just slightly against the door and the cold metal felt frigid against his burning fingertips and he almost let it happen, he almost entered the hallway he had been told never to investigate but a body tumbling into his own snapped him from his stupor and brought him literally crashing back into reality. Both bodies came crumbling to the floor in a heap of groans and muttered curses. 

The blood from his head sank back down and the hazy spell cleared from his brain as he laid a restless palm against his forehead and took in large breaths to regain some control of his body. It had felt like he was being puppeted by his emotions and something in him was frightened by the event but before he could wither in his racing thoughts the body atop his own released a pained whimper. 

With anger he jerked them both upwards into a half sitting position. “What the fu-” His growl of irritation was chased from his mouth when he took in the face of the person in front of him. A pair of wide oceanic blue eyes looked into his own and he felt his mind stop for a second. The stare of this boy looked right into him, right into his brain and down into his heart. 

“I-I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” His voice was deep, and Changbin felt it rumble through their shared contact and bury itself under his skin. He knew he’d take this voice home with him and he’d write a song about a boy with eyes like an ocean and a voice as smooth as silk. The kid scrambled to sit up, pulling his weight off Changbin and giving him the most innocently apologetic look he had ever seen on someone’s face. His eyebrows were drawn in a worried pout and the expression from his eyes felt genuine and Changbin didn’t know someone from District 1 could look so sincere. Despite being clearly irritated from the situation and never being someone to just accept thrown out apologies Changbin felt compelled to ease this boy's worries, especially when he gave him such wide puppy eyes. 

‘I’m fine,” He huffed out, running a hand through his deep purple hair. It had been somewhat styled when he left but now it looked like he had failed to brush it for a full week. It was especially embarrassing when he took in the appearance of the boy and found him to be annoyingly perfect. Changbin almost had enough reason to call this kid a literal angel, but even that wasn’t enough and he settled for a sculpture of an unknown god. Perfection in its purest, most undisturbed form. He had naturally honey tanned skin that seemed to radiate warmth, and was sprinkled with lovely freckles that Changbin has appointed look just like stars. He should have been displayed in a museum because nobody should look so beautiful and not be appreciated for centuries beyond. When the boy tilted his head the perfectly styled dusty pink crown of hair on his head bounced and not a single strand seemed out of place. It was like he hadn’t just body slammed somebody in a hallway. 

_ Totally unfair.  _

With a button nose and small features, the kid’s entire complexion screamed softness. Changbin’s own rigid nature worried he might taint the kid just by touching him, and instinctively he wanted to put as much space between them as possible. So he leaned as far back as possible as the kid pulled himself up and stood, brushing off invisible dust as he went. The action was so small and so natural and it sent Changbin’s heart fluttering stupidly. 

“Oh good I’m glad I didn’t hurt you, I should have been looking where I was going- I’m really such a clutz. Here let me help you up, are you sure you didn’t hurt anything? I can try and find one of the doctors if you need.” The boy rambled on and extended out a hand to pull Changbin up which he took without thinking and electricity ran through his veins at the contact. It ran from his fingertips, then down into his arm, until it squeezed his heart and he almost feared maybe he was having a heart attack. It almost made him pull away but one look into the wide gaze of the boy told him it was a shared experience and they looked towards one another with open mouthed astonishment. Then the soft features of the boy pulled into a painful and fearsome grimace as he gripped Changbin’s hand just a little tighter. “You’re like me- I can’t believe this. Why are you here- No, you shouldn’t... “ His deep voice was laced with anxiety and he seemed to be trying to formulate some kind of response to his ramblings. “...in danger.” 

The boy mumbled out and Changbin strained to hear him under his breath, “I can’t hear you what-” 

“You should leave. You’re in-” 

“Felix!” The voice startled the boys from their trance and Changbin ripped his hand free with a little more force than necessary. An unsettled air had fallen between the two and Changbin wondered what he was going to tell him and why it appeared so urgent for the boy. They locked eyes for a second more before Changbin turned to find the owner of the voice and he came to stare up at his very own uncle,  _ Dr. Seo Jichul.  _

His face was set in a hard glare and the normally collected doctor appeared almost frazzled when he approached. “What have I told you about wandering the halls, boy?” He didn’t glance at Changbin when he walked up. His full attention was on the boy,  _ Felix _ , who looked like he might pass out on the spot. Changbin wanted to reach out for the kid but he stopped his impulse and only silently watched on. 

“I’m sorry Doctor, I wasn’t-” 

“Wasn’t what? Thinking?” He interrupted with a growl. “You tell me that every time Felix. When are you going to start thinking and stop giving excuses?” His tone made Changbin flinch back and he almost feared his uncle was going to hit Felix with how the vein popped out of his neck and his face heated up into a ugly shade of red. 

The scolded boy simply hung his head and held his tongue from replying. A tense silence settled around the three and Changbin worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he adjusted his weight from foot to foot. He wanted to speak up, he really did but his uncle had a power to silence even the most outspoken of people and Changbin was weak against a man like him. His uncle took his eyes away from Felix and looked back at Changbin and paused. From the expression of his face he was shocked to see Changbin here in the halls but it was quickly reigned into a neutral gaze. The doctor cleared his throat before crossing his arms and looking over Changbin inquisitively. 

“Changbin, why are you here?” His uncle questioned the boy and Changbin scrambled to collect his thoughts enough to recall why he was here in the first place. 

“I- I uh. My mom-” He paused for a second when the doctor released an exasperated sigh. The way he was looking at the boy told him to either spit it out or expect to be thrown out and he cleared his throat to regain some composure. “My mom gave me some papers to give to you. I was gonna leave it in your office but the door was locked.” 

“Obviously my office was locked if I wasn’t in there, Changbin you must have known that right?” 

“Well- I didn’t know you wouldn’t be there so I decided-” 

“So you decided to try and investigate behind the only door you aren’t allowed into?” The tone of his uncle’s voice made him shrink back, and he found his eyes traveling back towards the door that started this entire series of events. 

“I didn’t,” he paused himself from forming some sort of excuse when he took in the way his uncle’s eyebrows seemed to quirk up slightly. “I’m sorry sir, I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Clearly,” the man rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Felix’s back to push him back towards the other end of the hallway. “Give me the folder and leave now Changbin. I don’t have anymore time to waste chasing teenagers.” The look he pointed at both boys was cold and unwavering. Quickly Changbin scrambled to remove the bag from his shoulders rushing to dig inside and pull out the familiar creme bundle of papers. 

In his search his gaze landed on a dejected Felix but he looked away suddenly worried he’d be caught staring. He had so many questions about the boy but he feared if he asked them the answers would be something he’d rather not know. Rustling around his hand finally grabbed hold of the folder and he pulled it out with only a little difficulty. “Here sir, sorry for wasting your time.” Normally Changbin wasn’t one for apologies, especially when an adult was involved, but if he had to confess anything his uncle scared him, more than anyone else in his life. His uncle was smart, and he knew that he couldn’t hide much when those cold eyes landed on him. It was like walking along eggshells on a minefield. Utterly panic inducing. 

Before he could voice anything more his uncle casted him a look that screamed, ‘get out before I force you out.’ and Changbin hurriedly put his bag back on his shoulders and made a move to leave towards the elevators. 

“Thank you Changbin, I'm sure you know how to find your way out. I don’t think you need an escort this time around.” His words mocked the boy and his uncle quickly turned away from Changbin and looked back at Felix who hadn’t moved from the place he was pushed into earlier. The young boy’s gaze was locked on the ground and his face was bunched into a complex expression Changbin couldn’t decipher. “Let’s go Felix. You’ve wasted enough of my time now, we have things we need to do.” The doctor reached out and harshly grabbed the boy by the upper arm and began tugging him away, and Felix almost seemed like he was gonna pull his arm free.  _ Almost _ but he didn’t and Changbin  _ almost _ wanted to do it for him so they could both just run out and never look back at these sterile white halls, but- he didn’t. 

Felix looked back at Changbin then, and his face was now contorted into something of despair and hopelessness. The boy with a million stars along his face and a voice rich with something soft and sweet like honey was asking Changbin for help. It wasn’t spoken aloud but the lingering stare of eyes as deep as the ocean were filled with pleadings. He screamed out, ‘help me.’ and impregnated the silence around Changbin like a flood. 

He didn’t know this boy, he didn't need to give this boy anything yet his heart was telling him this was what he needed to do. This young kid had crashed into Changbin’s heart and even into his soul and was now permanently implanted into his mind. He felt a connection that he couldn’t explain, and it started the second they had looked into one another’s eyes but Changbin was a weak man. He was frozen as he looked into those pleading eyes. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind from ‘help him’ to ‘this isn’t your problem’ each one revolved around the mysterious boy, but it was always stopped short from a hint of reality telling him this wasn’t the time, not yet anyway. 

And as the two figures slowly disappeared down the hallway, turning past a corner and disappearing from sight he could still feel the weight of Felix’s stare on his heart. He knew he was a coward, and he would tell himself time and time again on his way home, as the rain pelted against his skin and turned it red with sharp stings of pain, that he deserved this. He was a man of few words and even fewer emotions, but that boy had left something in his cold heart. It had been warmed just a few degrees and he hoped maybe, one day he would look into those blue eyes again and stare at the constellations on his skin once more. This time he’d reach out a hand and he’d pull Felix away somewhere safe, but now wasn’t that time. 

He let the dream sink into his heart and he locked it away like a treasure to be discovered in the future. The moment had ingrained itself into his memory and he had written countless lyrics to try and understand all his feelings about the encounter but it still wasn’t enough. It boiled in his gut until he forced himself back to Club D.A.W.N. to try and drown it out with harsh lights, music, and maybe some alcohol. 

_ Yet the face still kept appearing in his mind, the boy with stars on his skin and a voice as deep as the ocean. It haunted him.  _

“You look worried about something kid, what’s up?” A voice pulled him from his thoughts and he remembered he was still sitting at the bar in the club. The bartender, a mysterious boy with a tiger’s gaze and who Changbin had only seen a few times before was looking at him with inquisitively raised eyebrows. He was cleaning a glass and the club itself appeared to be slowing down for the night and the heavy music had been replaced by light pop to urge the lingering bodies to head home. 

“Sorry, I should get out of your hair huh?” He ignored the man’s initial question. He went to stand but was held back by a friendly hand on his shoulder and a familiar laugh in his ears. 

“Wait Changbin,” This voice rushed out and he turned to give Joshua a polite smile in greeting. “I need to talk to you before you leave. What’s this I heard about being worried? Something on your mind, you did kind of look distracted when you came in earlier. I didn’t ask but I was concerned something happened.” He gave Changbin a gentle shoulder squeeze before sitting down in the stool beside him. “We might be closing but I’m not gonna kick you out if you wanna stay a little longer.”

His warm smile had become a comfort for Changbin and he relaxed at the offer and looked back at the bartender who had turned from their conversation but he assumed was still listening. “I just had a strange encounter earlier. It’s been on my brain- I’ve been thinking I could have… I just froze. He looked at me like he wanted help but I just stood aside like an idiot.” He gave Joshua a pleading look and his friend knitted his brow in worry. 

“What happened? Did this happen at school? Could you have done anything or are you just beating yourself up over something you couldn’t actually stop?” Joshua urged him to continue just as the music was shut off and the flashing lights disappeared and were replaced by the gentle glow of the overhead bulbs. 

Changbin went on to explain his experience with Felix and his uncle, Joshua listened with intent and the bartender who had finished his cleaning and leaned against the bar with a neutral gaze as the story trailed off and Changbin racked a hand through his hair in frustration. “The look he gave me was desperate, he looked terrified and I just stood there.” 

Joshua placed a hand atop Changbin’s and gave a small squeeze, “Your uncle, he seems like an intimidating guy.” 

“Yeah, he is. I’ve known him my entire life but every time he looks at me it feels like I’m just a bug that he can squish under his shoe. I feel- I” 

You feel small?” The bartender supplied and Changbin nodded in agreement. 

“It isn’t just that though, the encounter I mean. I’ve also been having strange… episodes lately.” He gave Joshua a pained gaze and hung his head in shame. “My anger has been getting to me, I feel like there’s something wrong. It’s like It’s controlling me or- or eating me alive.” 

“There isn’t anything wrong with you Changbin. Hey look at me for a second,” Joshua’s hand cupped Changbin’s cheek and urged his gaze back up into his eyes and his smile was filled with comfort. “Nothing about you is wrong, and you can’t change what has already happened but you can learn from it. It’s only gonna make you more frustrated the longer you think about it Binnie.” At the sound of his nickname Changbin gave a small laugh and relaxed his shoulders as Joshua continued. 

“You can wish to change things as much as you want but all you’re doing is drowning your brain in guilt. Sometimes it’s better to take it as an experience instead of as a regret.” The boy supplied Changbin and he thought about it as the bartender nodded in agreement from the side. 

“You can’t change something that’s already happened, but if something similar pops up again you’ll be more prepared to change the outcome of that situation so it doesn’t repeat itself. Plus you probably couldn’t have done anything with your uncle there anyway right? It’ll be okay, I'm sure the boy understands your lack of action. He seemed like a level headed character.” The bartender added as his heavily lined eyes crinkled endearingly and for once Changbin saw another welcoming face instead of a mysterious stranger. 

“Yeah, I guess you guys have a point huh? Maybe I should write a song about it. That usually helps clear my head.” 

“You know what, that’s a great idea! You’ll have to let me hear it when you finish.” Joshua encouraged gently and he released his hold of Changbin’s face. It almost looked like he wanted to add more but he quickly glanced at his watch instead and gave Changbin a look. 

“Time for me to go?” He inquired with dread and Joshua gave a sad nod. 

“Yeah, it’s late and you have school tomorrow don’t you? You’ll miss the train back to district 2 if you stay any longer.” 

Changbin sighed a little dejected but understood where the older boy was coming from. It was always a depressing thought of returning back into his little reality in District 2 but it was something he couldn’t escape from. The club always made him feel safe and welcomed and maybe one day he’d have the courage to stay forever but for now, just as before. He returned to his house and dreamed about his next visit to the place he now called home. 

And someplace farther away, all the way in District 8, a boy who had suddenly found his freedom looked towards the sky and dreamed about the boy who had stories behind his eyes and mystery within his heart. 

_ They would meet again.  _


	8. Agitation Pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right on, another chapter FINALLY! 
> 
> I'm so sorry about the slow updating for this- I'm just trying my best to keep up with that and work.  
> I also don't have a beta so I have to pay extra attention to the writing because small mistakes can just take you out of the experience, so I hope you understand when posting a new chapter takes awhile. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the last part for this section and then soon we're gonna have a nice time with all of 3RACHA, :) 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

**Agitation Pt. 3**

Changbin felt the change the moment it occurred. It was almost like a shift in reality itself. One second the minutes were passing like normal and then everything was suspended. The air was thick with energy and his body was pulled tight like an elastic band. Heat ran in his veins and the world around him seemed to grow in perspective. He felt it all. A pool of energy formed in his gut and it rained through his body like static. 

Really he couldn’t blame himself entirely for the change. The situation escalated quicker than his brain could put the pieces together. Maybe if the other boy hadn't picked a fight when Changbin was already on edge then perhaps things would have unfolded differently. Maybe if the teacher hadn’t walked in just when things had turned wrong. _Maybe if he had noticed the change sooner._ It wasn’t just his fault but that didn’t reverse the damage that had already occurred. Now he was running for his life through the streets of district 5 and things couldn’t get any worse. 

_Except it could._

It started the morning after his encounter with the strange boy in his uncle’s lab. The entire night he had been tossing and turning in his bed unable to get the image of Felix from his memory. With stars on his face and his eyes as blue as an ocean. They invaded his core and now he was left with the suffering aftermath of his internal war. Just like he had promised Joshua, Changbin wrote a song about Felix. Poured every emotion he had felt about the boy in the past 24 hours onto a single page of paper and then accompanied it with a beat he had written months ago but never found the right words for it. _Until now._ It was probably one of the best songs he had written and a deeper part of his heart hoped one day he’d be able to share it with the boy in question. For now he’d settle with playing it for Joshua. Perhaps he should have been more concerned about his new obsession with a boy he had quite literally only seen once but he was always a bit thick headed about these things. 

Because of his lack of sleep that night and his occupied mind he was slower getting ready then normal. Most of his morning he spent sluggishly attempting to pull his brain together so he could function for the rest of the day but it never appeared to be enough. He seemed to be trailing one step behind, never able to completely catch back up. His own mother, ever unobservant, commented on his airheaded appearance at the table during breakfast. Then his father added in a small scolding about focusing at school and that he already had lower grades than the rest of the family. It pulled his mood down from a 3 to a straight 0, a pool of anger already forming in his gut. 

He shrugged off their cold glares and simply let it all hang in the air around him as he finished getting ready for school. Things seemed to be building but he pushed it all aside. 

Now finally as he walked up the steps towards the main entrance of school his brain started to defog. It was like a small hole had been poked into his brain and the pressure that had been building slowly had been released. Part of him thought now that he had a crowd to blend into he didn’t feel like he was so out in the open like at home. It calmed him somehow. 

It might have been a slow progression but eventually he had enough sense in his head to remember his locker combination, something that slipped from his memory more often then he’d like to admit. Slowly he pulled open the metal door and let his tired eyes linger on the mess inside. From old gym clothes he really should take home, to the textbooks he refused to lug home. He let himself settle and his brain began to try and piece together his emotions. 

Even as his head was starting to clear, and the images of the boy were pushed into the back of his brain the anger in his gut remained, sinking deeper in fact. He could feel the boiling in his veins and it was a type of anger that seemed almost irrational. The smallest things started edging him closer towards exploding. The area was alive with static energy that just seeped into Changbin’s body. His skin seemed to crawl from the raw irritation he felt. From the quietest of conversations across the hallway to the obnoxious yelling of the boys in the courtyard playing some dumb game of ultimate frisbee. It all pushed and pushed until he was certain if he went to class like this he’d snap and punch the teacher on accident. 

He wasn’t a big stranger to skipping but most of the time it wasn’t because of his own unstable emotions, just that he didn’t want to deal with class that day. Now it was clear he would continue to struggle the rest of the day, but he had to attend some of his afternoon classes or he’d risk getting a call to his parents about his attendance. He didn’t want to deal with those consequences. So he concluded to spend his morning hiding from teachers in the locker room of the gym. Luckily for him it wasn’t used till the afternoon anyway so he’d have till lunch to calm himself down enough to deal with his required classes. 

He was disturbed by himself though and he hoped having a couple hours to sort through his brain might help diffuse his internal ticking time bomb. 

He moved away from his locker and turned to make his way quietly towards the double doors into the gym. Before he could even take a step though a hand reached out and grabbed him by the elbow. For a second he almost pulled away in reaction but the rational part of his brain stopped the action and instead he turned his gaze towards a boy with a mischievous glint in his intense eyes. A pair of brown fox eyes and a smirking grin looked at Changbin with intense interest. This was a boy he knew well, although it had been many months since either had had any conversation. The two had floated away years ago but they remained hovering in the same circle, just slightly orbiting one another. 

This boy was Jung Wooyoung, filled with charisma and overflowing with charm. He was a school heart throb and one of the bigger names around campus. If you hadn’t heard of him you’d be lying, and if you hadn’t dated him you’d also be lying. Wooyoung was previously notorious for sleeping around in his sophomore and junior year and even more notorious now for his current and longest standing relationship. It was something Changbin heard whispers about daily and a small part of him was curious to know about Wooyoung’s recent fling, but they weren’t friends anymore. He couldn’t ask. Because Jung Wooyoung was a part of the biggest crowds in school, they didn’t swim with the same school of fish anymore. 

The biggest part of Wooyoung’s popularity came from his information. He knew everything about everyone. If you thought you knew yourself, Jung Wooyoung knew you better. From the gossip to the answers of the recent Biology quiz. He was the perfect informant and even the school faculty fell to his charm. If he was ever caught selling homework answers it would simply take a batting of his pretty eyelashes and they’d give him a simple warning and brush his actions aside. He was dangerous but he was also loyal and Changbin had earned that trust years ago. 

Maybe it was because he had grown immune to his charm but Wooyoung was always grateful for Changbin’s company freshmen year, even if they no longer talked. They remained equals on the minefield that was high school. 

But because of their lack of communication it was a surprise to Changbin to see him approach him on his own accord. He was curious and it looked like Wooyoung was in some kind of hurry. 

His perfectly styled hair was now wind blown and sticking to his forehead with a light layer of sweat, and the neatly ironed uniform he wore was disheveled and untucked. It was a rare appearance on the normally well kept boy. 

“Wooyoung? What do you want?” He knew his words were a little harsh but it wasn’t everyday they had an encounter with one another.

Wooyoung brushed aside Changbin’s tone and gave his signature grin. Quickly he raced out a breathless response, “Have you seen Hwang Hyunjin?” 

Changbin froze for a second. He scanned his memory for the name and remembered vaguely about the school’s self proclaimed prince, a boy a year younger than him and Wooyoung. He was a person who people either loved or were jealous of, he was a big name among the gossip rings in school. But Changbin had never talked a day in his life to the kid so it was odd to him that Wooyoung would approach him for this information. 

“No I don’t know where he is, why ask me?” He quirked his brow in confusion and watched as Wooyoung took a small breath of air before he continued his explanation. 

“Why? Because you listen and if anybody besides myself knows where somebody might be it’d be you Changbin.” He spoke with confidence and flashed Changbin a knowing smile. “But anyway, if you do see him, mind telling him to watch out for me? I think he’s found some trouble. You know I like to keep my best buyers in the know.” 

“Trouble huh?” Changbin questioned into the air and Wooyoung simply shrugged and pulled his hand away finally. “I guess if I spy him I’ll pass on the word.” 

With his words Wooyoung’s face lit up and he quickly gave Changbin a side hug of appreciation. He didn’t really return the action but Wooyoung didn’t seem to mind and he pulled away just as quickly as he had given the action. “Thanks Changbin, I owe you. Next time if you need some information just come to me and I’ll give you a discount.” 

Changbin gave Wooyoung an annoyed glare before shaking his head. “I don’t need your information Wooyoung, there doesn’t need to be any favors for favors. I’m just passing the word down the grapevine.” 

“Whatever you say man, I’ll see you around though,” Wooyoung took a step towards the closest hallway before flashing Changbin a small look of curiosity, “If you- we should hang out again. Sometime maybe, just text me sometime okay?” 

Changbin looked into Wooyoung’s eyes and searched for any deeper meaning but the boy had a habit of erasing any telling emotions from their depths. He sighed in response and gave a reassuring smile in return to Wooyoung’s pursed brow. “Yeah, I’ll send you a text sometime, now get to class Wooyoung. It was nice talking to you.” He added towards the end and turned to start walking in the direction of the gyms once again. 

“Yeah! Likewise Changbin, see you around” The boy interjected, always one for the last word in a conversation and the two finally parted in opposite directions of the hallway. 

Changbin slowly started his walk down the quiet halls, sparing only a fleeting glance at Wooyung’s receding back but he quickly snapped his eyes back in front of him. The day started oddly and it was continuing to be filled with strange occurrences, because just as quickly as he was going to forget about his promise to Wooyoung the boy who had been in question came barreling down the hallway right towards Changbin. 

Quickly he threw his hands up as a way to slow down the running boy, but he appeared to be in a rush and Changbin feared being trampled by this kid in his blind panic. It wasn’t until the boy turned his head and realized someone was in his path did he skid himself to a halt. His eyes appeared fearful and they tracked down Changbin’s form as if sizing him up _, reading him actually._ It unnerved Changbin and he tried to appear indifferent as he spoke up. 

“Hey man, you’re Hwang Hyunjin right?” Changbin asked curiously although he was sure he couldn’t mistake the long white hair for anybody else. 

“Why, who’s asking?” He responded harshly and Changbin had to fight his gut to remain calm. 

“Okay listen man, I don’t really care about you or whoever you must have pissed off but I was asked to tell you you might have found some trouble. So watch the attitude and be grateful I’m even sharing this information with you.” He snaps coldly and the kid shrinks back slightly but keeps his guarded expression. 

“I don’t even know you, why are you telling me this? You seem like the type to ignore these things.” 

His observation might have been correct but a part of Changbin felt offended at his words and he quickly crossed his arms over his chest as a guard over his heart. “Look, I’m simply helping out a friend of mine and he told me to tell you if I saw you. So take it and get out of my way before I make you move. I’m sick of dealing with shit today.” He mumbled the last part of his statement but Hyunjin seemed to have heard him anyway and his brow pulled together in thought. 

“Right, well thanks for the warning but it came a little late,” with that Hyunjin glanced behind himself worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “See you around- uh?” 

“Changbin” He supplied although he wasn’t sure why he had felt compelled to share his name. 

“Changbin, right. Thanks Changbin” He flashes a blinding smile before making his way back down the hallway and finally Changbin was left alone in the silent walkway. He felt like he had just experienced a whiplash of information and it gave him a small headache if he was being honest with himself. 

When he normally only spoke to his teachers at school he had now just had two out of the blue conversations that seemed to have zero context behind them. Why was Hwang Hyunjin in trouble? Why was Wooyoung’s first reaction to find Changbin? He felt like he had been placed in some alternate reality and the thoughts only pushed him further towards some unseeable cliff in his brain. Irritated he ran a hand through his hair and attempted to shake the dwelling thoughts from his head. _He really didn’t want to deal with this shit right now._

Now as he approached the gym doors he let himself relax slowly. Visibly his shoulders shrank and his hands slipped off onto his sides, and a wave of exhaustion washed across his mind. Finally he had time to think and let himself sit in peaceful silence but even with a quiet hallway things appeared so loud. 

Just as suddenly as he thought he could relax he was washed in a wave of discomfort, enough so that a small chill ran down his spine. A cold sweat settled across his body and he fought his instincts not to retch on stale air. _Everything felt so intense, so crushing._

A ticking clock from a nearby classroom pounded against his skull and the smell of sweat rested on his nose as he entered the empty gym. Everything bounced across his mind and he felt overwhelmed by the feelings. Just like yesterday he felt an itching under his skin and a burning that slowly grew in his chest. The anger that had been gradually boiling slowly seemed to overflow across his body and flood his sense of rationality. It was during this spell of distraction that he failed to hear the doors open and a pair of gruff footsteps approach from behind. 

Then suddenly he was on the floor and everything slowly came back into perspective. The burning receded and the sounds bouncing across his skull muted and he focused in on the chilling chuckle from above him. 

“Why’re you all alone in this gym kid?” The tone of the voice was nasally and rough. Slowly Changbin turned his head around and up and looked into the eyes of a complete stranger. He knew it was another student, because he wore the uniform but he looked well over the age of a teenager. 

“The fuck do you want?” He growls out, ignoring the man’s first question attempting to pull himself back up onto his feet but he was quickly shoved back down once again, the smile still present on the strangers face. 

“I asked you a question or do I need to spell it out for you? If you’re this stupid you must be friends with Hyunjin,” The words that left his mouth made Changbin freeze and with a groan of frustration he turned sharp eyes upwards. 

“I’m not friends with Hwang Hyunjin, I hardly know the guy. If you want something on him you should go somewhere else man.” 

“Come on, you must think I’m blind. I saw you talking with him in the hallway earlier, I know what my eyes see and you two seemed pretty friendly.” 

“I wasn’t- that” A kicked into his skull makes the words he was about to speak die on his tongue and suddenly his anger was back and it was a raging hurricane. “Look dick.” He grabs the kid's foot still pressed against his temple and pulls the kid off his feet until his ass is on the floor. Then with as much macho intimidation he can spill into his body Chanbin rises onto his feet and looks the boy dead in his eyes. “I don’t know Hwang Hyunjin. Whatever you saw was not _me_ being friendly with anyone. So leave me alone before I make you regret pissing me off.” 

“Aren’t you scary.” The boy even with the lower ground continues his illusioned bullying. “I bet you’re the type who thinks they’re untouchable, you’re always the best to tear apart.” The words were laced with venom and Changbin stepped back instinctively in fear. 

“I’m not untouchable, bastard. I just know who to avoid.” 

“Well clearly you missed the memo to stay away from Hyunjin huh?” He speaks with a twisted smile, ever slowly getting back off the floor. Even if Changinn appeared intimidating he wasn’t a fighter and he avoided situations like this for that very reason. _He wasn’t a fighter, something was wrong. Changbin get a hold of yourself, don’t do anything stupid._ He attempted to calm himself internally but his skewed feelings left his self control dangerously slim. Plus this kid was like a skyscraper and Changbin had to crane his neck to meet his eyes once they were both standing. That left a burn on his ego and just one step closer to self destructing. 

It was a tense showdown and the silence seemed to hang in the air as they both sized the other up. Changbin broke first, raising his hands to try and defuse the air. “Look- I don’t want any trouble. I already told you I have nothing to do with Hyunjin.” 

“-And I’ve moved on from Hyunjin. You can take his punishment for him” He cracks his knuckles just like in the movies and Changbin almost rolls his eyes. Almost but the gaze the boy is giving him truly makes him feel like prey staring down a predator. _He felt small once again-_

“Dude- I don’t want-” His words are cut from his mouth as a punch he hadn’t even seen coming connects right with his cheek. His head snaps to the side and pain blooms across his jaw. His vision blurs and he can vaguely hear the laughter on the kids lips as he attempts to recollect his now scrambled brain. 

  
_Changbin wasn’t a fighter._ He didn’t know how to defend himself and despite the many rumors that he was known for getting into fights he had never actually been in one, in fact he had never been punched before. This was a new experience for him and that’s why his brain seemed to slow down as he tried to register what had just happened or what was continuing to happen. Just as the first punch landed and he was trying to regain his sense of equilibrium a second connects with his stomach and he doubles over in pain, the breath is knocked from his lungs. 

Thoughts started to race, his brain was a messy puddle of twisted reactions and emotions. Nothing seemed to make sense even as he was pushed towards the ground or even as he slowly felt his skin grow numb from his fingertips until it reached his chest. The feeling he had been experiencing for days slowly started to evolve and that was when the change occurred. 

The seconds between when the kid would land one punch after another he felt everything but it was all so much clearer this time. No echoing sounds. No racing thoughts. No flooded senses. He just felt it all, and he understood it all. That too much feeling he either loved or hated, that was now his to control. He was hyper focused on the body above him, at the one putting his body through so much pain. He could see the energy pouring from the boy above him, like a constant wave. Pulling in then pushing back out, it was a harsh red color, the color of blood. Then past the wall of energy Changbin saw deeper, internally deeper in fact. He watched the way the nerves seemed to race with energy, from one point to the next like a never ending chain. From the brain to the heart. He saw it all. Then he pushed even further in and connected with the source of it all, the brain itself. 

Changbin couldn’t explain what was happening or how he even understood how to control it, just that it felt so natural. The boy’s head was filled with energy, filled with emotions. Most appeared ugly, transformed into grotesque balls of energy that radiated negativity like an infection. Changbin felt the anger, an overpowering emotion, an emotion that seemed to soak into him as well. Then past the anger was a layer of pure malice and joy. Something so sick and twisted and he knew then that he had gone too deep, had reached the core of it all. 

It was all at his fingertips. Even as his body grew number by the second or even as the boy continued his pummeling. Changbin felt in control. Slowly he reached out, his mind grazing the boy’s own energy and it was like they were connected suddenly, Changbin felt like he could mold it, bend it to his will. He just needs to reach out a little further. Just needed to find the right thing and then his suffering would stop. He needed to. Slowly the numbness receded back into the burning and his body was alive once again. He had found it- 

_And he grabbed it._

His brain pieced itself together. Took that burning and formed it into a blade and he proceeded to slash right into the mess of anger- of malice- of hatred right into the core of the boy’s brain. Then it all stopped. 

The buzzing air. _The energy._ The red hot energy which had been pouring from the boy’s brain like a waterfall suddenly went dry. Until he was screaming in pain. That’s what brought Changbin back, springing him forth into reality and his entire core froze. The screams were so anguished- yet so hollow. Like a piece was missing and Changbin stared up in horror as the kid crumbled on the ground, clutching his head and pulling at his hair. He could feel the residual energy in the air, but even more so he could feel the absence of the anger that had once been drowning the area. 

Changbin knew then. As he stared into the pained expression on the boy’s face and as he felt an inner part of himself shift, change, evolve- he knew then what Felix had been talking about. He was infected- He was a Stray- 

_CLANG!_

His attention snapped towards the entrance and there stood a horrified teacher and behind him were what Changbin feared- with the bright red and white faceless hoods, and the bright 0 insignia. The operators- _and the…_

‘Peacekeepers.’ 

Feared struck his heart and with cold clammy hands he clenched them into fists and spared a fleeting glance at the boy still writhing on the ground beside him. His mind was racing and his heart was pounding and all he wanted was to take back everything that had just occurred, he wished that he could go back to being oblivious to the change- but he couldn’t. 

Joshua already told him he couldn’t change the past but he could prepare for the future. So as the Peacekeepers slowly started to progress towards him he resigned himself for change. 

If this was who he was now, then he sure as hell wasn’t going to spend his life locked away in a lab. Now when this had just given him a boost to finally- finally leave this district behind. 

No- he wouldn’t let them have him. He was going to fight. 

_He was going to finally be free._


	9. Agitation Pt. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I hate the English language fuck- lol   
> I really wanted to get this chapter out :> SO it might be a little rushed so I apologize for that; I hope you can still enjoy it either way. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

**Agitation Pt. 4**

Up until this point in Changbin’s life he had called himself unlucky. Not cursed, but certainly not blessed with good karma. It might have shown itself in the way he’d stumble when others ran or how his head just remained steps behind everyone else in his life.  _ The small things _ , those little unlucky instances just made his life all that much harder. 

But now, right this very moment; luck was on his side. Just a small ounce, enough to get him through this alive, to run and escape. 

It was all he needed. Just enough luck. 

From years of learning about the Peacekeepers in school, hearing about all the stories that ended so bleakly- You’d either be dead or you’d end up in handcuffs. 

Changbin was neither dead nor cuffed and he found himself instead running down the streets of District 2, frenzied with adrenaline. It was like a shot of life had been injected into his body and he ran with so much desire for living it left him buzzing. 

Honestly the entire encounter had been almost a blur. He remembered the expression on the teacher's face once he had thrown open the gym doors. Pure fear, a hint of rage, and never ending waves of astonishment. Maybe it was from the way the bully was writhing on the floor, how his screams continued to fill the air and settle the mood dreadfully. Or maybe it was from how unreacting Changbin seemed to appear. Expressionless and stoic, something that even disturbed Changbin when he thought back on it all. The teacher just didn’t seem to know how to begin to understand what had happened, and he only stood dumbfounded with fear. Behind him the hooded figures jumped into action. 

Two operators and three Peacekeepers. They stood proud and tall, looming figures of fate and they disturbed Changbin to his core. They remained faceless, voiceless, but ever present and if it was any other situation Changbin may have felt some respect for them and the power they held by just their presence alone but that was not this situation and instead he felt enraged, once again. This time around the anger was his own and not forced onto him from those surrounding him. It was all his own feelings and emotions fueled by his adrenaline. 

“W-what the hell happened here? Is that boy alright?” The teacher who at this point remained shocked in silence suddenly spoke and it seemed to stir everyone back into action after they had frozen in a silent stare down. Changbin quickly got to his feet and stood his ground as the Operators pushed the teacher aside and started a slow pace towards him and his ‘victim.’ 

“He threatened me first. I was defending myself.” Changbin argued into the tense atmosphere but somehow he knew they wouldn’t listen to any explanation. They only saw him as a monster who had just possibly destroyed the mind of a young boy. They weren’t going to let him go easily and they certainly weren’t going to take his assault easily either. They had walked in on a situation that was entirely against Changbin. 

He was truly pushed into a corner, and he must have appeared like a threatened predator because the Peacekeepers had raised their weapons in warning as a way to tell him to stay still and keep from doing anything unnecessary. So he froze and watched closely as the operators kneeled beside the kid and stuck him with an injection of something, whatever it was it knocked the kid out and finally silence settled across the room. 

It wasn’t a quiet silence though, instead it was filled with unspoken questions and countless possibilities of what might be about to occur. An endless stream of stress, agitation, and most of all  _ fear _ . Changbin wanted to escape, wanted to run away till he could completely forget about this entire situation, forget about district 2, forget about his old life and just start anew. From this point on he had to be careful. These people were here to take him, to haul him away to some lab and he’d be damned if he didn’t give them a fight. 

So he had to think it all through carefully, something Changbin wasn’t necessarily good at but could make it count when it was vital. 

He inspected his surroundings. The gym was large but had little wiggle room for error, the only other exit besides the main doors were through the locker rooms and that was currently blocked by the body laying on the floor with two busy operators above it. He’d have to bolt right over them and wished he could run faster then everyone else in the room if he took that route. Maybe he could let them lead him outside and then he could attempt an escape but it was a long shot and if he was unable to get free he’d just be asking for harsher treatment. 

He was cornered, fear crept into his heart, and a mild tremor racked through his body. He fought to remain calm, he needed to have a clear head if he wanted any chance against the Peacekeepers. But Changbin knew he had to do something soon, anything really. He didn’t want to be an experiment. Time was slowly running out and he needed to make a choice. 

Maybe it was fate that seemed to intervene so suddenly, like the universe had heard his pleadings and decided to deal him some much needed luck. The lights started to flicker and all their eyes trailed upwards before everything was abruptly plunged into darkness. An audible gasp was heard from the teacher and screams from the hallway informed them the blackout wasn’t just in the gym but all around the school. Changbin saw his opportunity and he took it. Without a second thought he turned his body towards the locker room doors and sprinted just barely leaping over the figures on the ground. 

Freedom was there, right at his fingertips. He didn’t want to think too much about his chances, just that he needed to keep moving and not look back. Even as he heard racing steps behind him or even as a cold sweat settle on the back of his neck he pushed forward. Throwing open the door he ran, sweeping past a corner and pushing himself off the wall he carelessly collided with in his haste and finally he busted outside. 

It might have only been the field they used for outdoor activities but it was more freedom than anything he had felt that morning enclosed in the large learning establishment. The open air, thick with a storm yet to come filled his lungs with needed air. If he wasn’t running for his life he might have stopped and took in the pleasant temperatures and calming melodies of nature but he was, in fact, running for his life and once his feet connected with the dirt on the ground he sprinted frantically. Forced his legs to push on and lead him away. Away from the district that caused him so much pain, so much contempt that it slowly started to eat him alive until it finally boiled over for this very moment. 

He finally found his freedom, even if things had changed permanently. Perhaps once he had enough time to relax and think, he’d find the fact he now literally had a superpower insane, but by this point he simply had chosen to push it aside and focus on getting to the train station alive. If he could just make it to district 6 he’d be able to hide away, maybe find Joshua but he worried about placing the boy in danger. He didn’t know his plan yet, so for now he just went forward. 

* * *

  
  


It was just cresting early evening when he was forced to leave the safety of the express train. He should have assumed it wouldn’t stay so simple to escape the Peacekeepers. They were known to be ruthless, adamant, and most importantly deadly. So it was a small relief when he had finally made it onto the train and found he wasn’t being followed. He let himself relax temporarily, instantly sinking into a seat and running his hands through his hair in stress. He hung his head and just rested the palms of his hands on his forehead slowly taking large deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. He was tired, confused, but most of all he felt like a weight had just been thrown from his shoulders, completely shoved from him unknowingly. 

The biggest part of his life had just been upended by a completely unexpected turn of events and in all honesty he felt okay. He knew once he let himself fully relax, once he knew he was safe then he’d let his brain mull over everything. He’d let himself take that fall but for now he needed to stay level headed; and at most he needed to keep calm or he feared he’d do something with his power he’d deeply regret. He didn’t even understand it completely, if he wasn’t careful it could explode all over again. So he thought about getting himself somewhere safe first that if he was able to make it to Club D.A.W.N. or a district far enough away he’d be out of hot water. Then maybe it would give him incentive to truly have a fresh start at life, that he could finally walk in his own shoes. His optimism gave him a layer of unwavering hope, and silently he felt a smile creep onto his face. 

Finally the train started to roll away from the platform and he felt his body tense before he released a breath and trailed his eyes upwards and out of the window. He watched the moving scenery and looked on as the place he had lived his entire life slowly faded, receded into the distance, until it eventually was drowned out by misty storm clouds and vanished from sight. It was almost symbolic for him, how he watched everything he knew just disappear so easily, just like him. He’d disappear and he’d start over. 

_ He was free…  _

… Yeah, no. That was where his luck ran out. 

Just as he listened to the overhead voice announce their arrival in district 5, and the train slowly eased itself into the station he saw a flash from the corner of his eye. That red, so unmistakable and that faceless mask… 

Peacekeeper-  _ Shit.  _

“Goddammit-“ He cursed to himself just under his breath and scornfully noticed a woman flashing him an irritated look at his manners but he could care less about formality at the moment. Cautiously he rose from his seat and glanced out the window and watched a pair of Peacekeepers enter a cart a few away from his own. He’d need to leave now if he wished to stay ahead of them, but just the fact they had caught up so quickly left an unsettling dread on his heart. The warning bell sounded, just as the doors started to shut and he made his choice, slipping from the safety of the train and into the open setting of an unfamiliar district. 

District 5 was far from his own. Far from the comfort and luxuries of District 2. It wasn’t an unpleasant difference, in fact it was more welcoming than anything District 2 would offer but it didn’t erase the creeping feeling of being out of place. It was especially apparent when strangers would cast him an odd stare and he finally recalled he still had on his school uniform. It gave him away instantly, but he had no way of changing out. Even if he found a clothing store he had left his bag, and unfortunately his wallet, in his locker at school. So he was stuck with the judgemental glances and self conscious worry. It made him feel like he didn’t belong, and he didn’t belong in district 2. 

_ Would he belong anywhere? _ His new affliction certainly made that harder, I mean he was basically a runaway illegal superhuman. Nobody would take him in- Joshua wouldn’t take him in would he? The hope he had built up earlier was slowly beginning to crumble, one brick at a time it started to slip from the foundation. 

He needed to find a phone. If he spoke with Joshua maybe he could find some comfort, enough to ease his mind and get him thinking clearly again. He already started to feel that pool in his gut forming and he really didn’t want to deal with that right now. He needed Joshua’s calming voice and mature advice, something to give him a path even if that path wasn’t towards the club. As long as he could find a safe place to sleep, he’d be fine. 

As his discomfort grew he pushed himself on, forward towards the goal of finding either a public phone or a kind enough stranger that would let him borrow their own. He was racing the clock now, as night was slowly approaching. 

The odds were against him now- 

Hours seemed to pass in the blink of an eye and Changbin was still aimlessly wandering the streets of District 5. It felt like a maze compared to the streets in district 2, everything seemed to bleed together behind his tired eyes. The sky was now a blazing orange as the sun started to set, and storm clouds were creeping in by the minute. He was running out of time but he was still not any closer to his goal. 

_ I need to rest- this is only going to get more frustrating unless I give myself a break… _ He thought dejectedly. 

Nearby he spotted a small set of steps outside an apparent closed shop front and found that to be as good a place as any to rest his tired legs and give his racing thoughts a break. 

He sat himself down, and immediately felt the effects his constant running had put on his body. The soreness ran from the soles of his feet into his hips and he ran a cautious hand along the muscle of his thighs. 

“It just keeps getting worse and fucking worse-“ He mumbled to himself, just under his breath and in rejection he placed his head against the crumbling wall beside him and closed his eyes. Maybe he could place himself into a light mediation, enough to clear his head and find some inner peace. If he kept running his mind into the ground like earlier he’d only be fighting against himself. If his mind was clear he’d have a better chance at staying away from the Peacekeepers and hopefully finding somewhere to stay for the evening, even if it wasn’t Club D.A.W.N. 

Sidetracked his brain seemed to catch onto a faint talking somewhere nearby and it wasn’t till he opened and focused his eyes around him did he find the old radio beside his feet. It must have been left behind by the shop owner before closing and curiously he reached out and cranked up the sound. The song which was playing had just hit its end and a familiar voice filtered from the speakers, crackling just slightly from the poor reception quality. 

This was on a station he listened to often in fact, and the voice that spoke out was from his favorite DJ.  _ CB97 _ and he felt his mind relax listening to the familiar voice. The tone was comforting, warm, and most importantly friendly. Changbin slowly eased his eyes closed once again and began listening intently as the DJ addressed the audience seriously. 

_ “Listeners, this has been 5 o'clock jams with CB97, I hope you all had a wonderful evening, but unfortunately it is time to say goodbye.”  _ His voice was filled with a hidden emotion and Changbin couldn’t help but relate somehow, a hidden part of his heart finding a connection with the faceless DJ. Just like it had with Felix.  _ “Sometimes life throws the unexpected at you. That’s how it’s always been hasn’t it? It’s a part of living life,” _ Changbin seemed to nod along unconsciously and now his full attention was placed on the small radio and on the DJ’s words. He took them in with full attention, eyes snapping open to stare at the small radio.  _ “It throws it, --well maybe chucks would be a better explanation. Either way, you’re hit in the face by a boulder, and you fall, you’re crushed. It’s a weight that constantly hangs over your heart and mind, something that appears impossible to pass. I’ve been there, recently in fact but today I found some comfort doing this show. Maybe I’m being sappy, maybe I should just sign off with a simple goodbye, but I felt in my heart I had to say something. I have something to say-- So please listen earnestly.”  _

Changbin felt himself tense in anticipation, slowly leaning closer to the radio as the DJ started his statement.  _ “My name, although this might come as a surprise to some, is not CB97, it’s a simple stage name, but it was something I found comfort in, it was an identity I could hide behind. When I’m sitting here, talking with all of you, no matter what district you might be in, I see myself in all of you. I don’t just play music for the sake of my work, I play music because I want to touch each of your hearts like you have with mine. I want to show, despite where we live, or who we associate with, we can all connect with the music. When we break it all down, down to the most basic level of humanity we are all the same. We hear something, we connect with it and we can share that with somebody else down the line. No matter the money, or the status, or whatever else might prevent you from being yourself, just remember- one thing can open your heart, one thing can change your life. Keep going forward, “He took a shaky breath, leaning back in his chair to relax and placing a calm smile on his face, “and with that CB97 is signing off, g’day mates…” _

Changbin was frozen even as the next song began to play and the radio static seemed to drown out the melody completely. His brain was focused elsewhere, dwelling deeply on the words he had just heard. He felt a connection with the statement, some unconscious pull on his heart like a string had been tied around it and was now tugging him in a direction. Was it towards a safe place? Was it all in his head? Was his agitation finally making him go insane? 

It was like the words had ignited a fire in his chest, something different from the pool of lava and instead it was a pleasant heat. It wasn’t eating him alive, it wasn’t suffocating him, it was peaceful. Changbin was compelled to follow the advice of the unknown DJ, almost falling into the same trap of feelings like he had experienced with Felix just with CB97. He wanted to know more, wanted to find him, he wanted to take a chance. 

Changbin felt his feet move before his brain had the time to catch back up with the action, and slowly he pulled his tired body into a standing position. He might not have fully understood everything, or understood anything at all. But he felt the connection. To Felix. To CB97. It was like a hidden string which was tied to each of them, a string of fate that was slowly pulling them closer to each other by the second. 

Changbin would follow that string, wanted to live the life it presented to him. 

Changbin wanted to break his silence and he wanted to act. 

_ To take action.  _

* * *

  
  


Changbin’s luck had really run out. Dry in fact. It was a drought and things had just gotten so much worse in a matter of seconds. 

Really life wasn’t fair for poor Changbin. The moment he regained some of his momentum it was quite literally shoved out from him. His backside hit the concrete of the road harshly and he stared into the sky above him in a daze. He felt the brush of light rain drops on his cheeks, and along his lashes before he snapped his head away when he heard the crunching of footsteps along the ground. 

His arm had been snagged in a vice grip from a whip,  _ a fucking whip _ . It tightened aggressively on his forearm and he tugged experimentally but it didn’t budge, only seemed to dig itself into his skin. He winced and his entire body screamed in pain. His back ached from the force of hitting the ground, his legs burned from the constant running he had subjected them to, his head had started to throb and he felt like he might get sick at any second but he swallowed it down. The pain was bad, but he wouldn't give up so easily. 

Even as the Peacekeeper that had been pursuing him for the past 30 minutes slowly approached, he steeled his brain and prepared for a fight. This Peacekeeper had been different from the ones at the high school. Instead of the red clothing, this one wore a tight black bodysuit, with hints of leather peeking past sleek steel armor plates. Most apparent was the bright yellow warning of the zero painted across the black mask, a stoic faceless predator. 

With a struggle he began working at the whip around his arm, digging his nails beneath it in an attempt to forcefully pry it from his skin. His fingers wore down, the skin under his nails raw from the force and bloody from the harsh metal of the whip. It was painful, and he forced down a whimper when the Peacekeeper gave a particularly harsh tug, enough for him to feel the bone in his arm strain against the force. 

Then his head was shoved back against the pavement and a metal clad boot started to dig painfully against his tender temple. Blood leaked down and into his eyes and he had started trying to blink away the blurring red liquid from his vision. It was all so much, and he could feel himself growing desperate when his head started to swim, just on the edges of passing out. 

With desperation clinging onto his sanity, he opened himself up to his power. The familiar feeling of lava pooling into his gut, and running through his veins as he searched for any energy source to latch onto, most conveniently the Peacekeeper now hovering above him, menacingly silent in the dark haze of misty rain. 

He took in the yellow mask, slowly opening his mind and allowing himself into the brain of his attacker. It was almost desolate when he finally settled into the maze of feelings. He worried he might be unable to do anything when he realized, they had simply buried the feelings deeper, just by the core. It must take extreme control of their inner thoughts to corral feelings into such a small space, his brain thinking back to the messy wildfire of the kid’s head from earlier. So much anger that it seeped out into the air around them. 

This was so different, but he’d take what he could find. The most prevalent feeling was indifference, like a layer of snow just covering the grass of normal feelings. Much like earlier he formed an internal blade and without much thought he slashed out, almost blindly before he was forced back out into reality. 

More screaming. Just like the kid, it was screaming yet hallowed. Missing a piece, and it was all the more unsettling coming from the anonymous mask of the Peacekeeper. Changbin watched on as they crumbled to the ground, clutching their head in clear pain but he knew he couldn’t stay to think. Already he watched the lights of nearby houses flash on and hurriedly he raced to release his arm from the now loose whip. 

His arm looked completely destroyed, large open wounds gushing blood and he almost swore he could see muscle, a deep blooming bruise bled throughout his arm, all around the injury. It made his gut churn with nausea, but he had to keep going. 

Slowly he pulled himself back up on two feet, only partially stumbling before he began running along the road once again. For a few minutes he ran in silence but soon he heard the sound of footsteps behind him, and he risked a glance over his shoulder. 

Two more- 

He had to shake them off but he didn’t know the streets and he was out in the open just running down the road. Desperate now, he turned off suddenly into what he hoped was an alleyway with a shortcut to another street but as he moved along the darkened backstreet he realized it led straight into a dead end. 

_ He was fucked- absolutely fucked. _ Changbin whipped himself around frantically, his eyes watching as two armor clad Peacekeeper’s crept into the entryway and just stood there, almost mockingly. 

Once again he was cornered but this time he felt like his chances of escaping were slim, practically none. Using his power earlier had given him a growing headache and he worried if he used it anymore he might actually faint but what other option did he have? He couldn’t fight, he might try but he wasn’t trained like the Peacekeepers. He backed away, just as they started to approach him and his back hit the cool concrete wall, a solid obstacle in his escape. 

In a last ditch attempt to buy himself extra time he began to talk, “This is some sick game to you guys, ain’t it?” He could feel his words slur slightly from his cheek, bruised and swollen from the fight with the bully, a slight metal tinge from his cut lip in his mouth. 

The two Peacekeepers remained voiceless, simply raising their weapons in silent warning. Changbin pressed on, more anger seeping into his tone as he continued, “Tch-” He scoffed, “Ya’ll never talk, think you’re better than ‘’erybody just cuz’ you work for Sector 0. Well let me tell you, I ain’t going down without a fight.” Finally, with a final burst of adrenaline he raised his fists, willed his sore muscles to make one last stand against his pursuers and finally the tension snapped. 

It was a flood of fists, kicks, sharp jabs, and quick dodges. Although Changbin was holding on better then he had initially expected, he was slowly tiring out. His reaction time getting slower and less responsive by the second and the Peacekeepers caught on to his weakness like leeches. 

His back was pressed against the wall, effectively ending his attempt at placing space between him and their ruthless attacks. He took harsh breaths in and out, a painful stab in his side making him wince and he tasted blood on his tongue. Everything was so much, too much. It was overwhelming him and now more then ever he wished he could be home- wherever home may be. 

Lost in his foggy haze of thoughts his feet were kicked from under him and his eyes were once again staring up at the cloudy sky, rain burning his eyes and seemingly bleeding together with the tears he hadn’t known were slipping from his eyes. He felt so weak, so small- 

Even as hands wrapped themselves around his neck and he felt the squeeze, he choked out a sob and tried desperately to wretch away from the grip. It was useless, only forced them to place more pressure on his windpipe and the breath was chased from his lungs, unable to replenish it the burn was gradual as it built. Slowly his vision faded in and out, black around the edges and his headache was now a full blown migraine. 

It was all too much- Changbin was terrified. 

He was terrified and it was too much- 

Changbin’s luck had run out- but luck was always subjective. Just as the world had started to fade and Changbin’s chest started to burn with fire a flash broke the stupor and a sudden rumbling startled the man atop him, enough so that his grip loosened just enough for Changbin to take in a breath. 

It all burned, but he pushed out the rest of his energy to shove the body off of him and scramble backwards and away, just barely catching on that he was now the one closest towards the entrance of the alley. 

It was his final chance, the last bit of luck and all he had to do was escape and stay ahead of them. It took the Peacekeepers a few seconds to realize what was happening and before the earthquake had even settled Changbin was up and racing away once again. 

They started their pursuit, anger clearly radiated from them, enough so that Changbin could pick up on the emotion. He felt a faint smirk, knowing if they could build up enough of that feeling it would help him use his power less forcefully.

Changbin ran in a blind frenzy. His lungs burned, his throat was definitely bruised, his arm was still bleeding and growing numb from the blood lose, his body was throbbing in pain and all he wanted was to give up but he had to keep going. He had already gone so far for this freedom if he gave up now it would have been pointless. 

He heard the footsteps behind him, he feared how much longer before they would finally reach him and he’d once again be forced to fight for his life, it was a dreadful thought and he clenched his eyes shut to block out the inevitable. 

Really- his luck had run dry years ago. This was just his karma catching back up with him. It was all inevitable-  _ just give up Changbin. Give up-  _

His body collided with something solid, and within seconds the air around him seemed to freeze. He couldn’t hear anything, he couldn’t move his body, and it was almost like he was floating and then he was back on the ground but everything was quiet.  _ Oddly peaceful- _

Slowly, cautiously he opened his eyes and the area was entirely unfamiliar. His brain was so distracted he hardly heard the pair of groans from beside him and in panic he flew up to glance at his surroundings. Instead of finding two Peacekeepers he looked on at two boys- boys his age. One was knocked out, his face pressed into the ground and his mousy hair framing his squirrel-like face delicately. He looked young, younger than Changbin and entirely out of place among the chaos of his day. All innocent and peaceful in his unconscious slumber. While the other was awake but in clear pain as he clutched his shoulder and scrunched his face in a grimace. He was older, Changbin could tell by the wide set of his shoulders and the mature tone of his voice that leaked out in whispered curses of pain. Even more odd was that now they sat in a very old, very abandoned, and very desolate building. It was overrun with plants, and it looked to him that he had been transported literally to another dimension. 

Nothing made sense anymore. Before he could even question his choices he choked out a question haphazardly. “Who the hell are you guys, and where the hell are we?” His tone was rough and his windpipe struggled to form the words correctly. 

The boy who was unconscious clearly didn’t respond but the older one suddenly fell silent and snapped his eyes open in shock. “Wah-” His head whipped around to look at his surroundings and it was clear he was just as confused as Changbin. “I don’t know- I was- District 5?” His sentence was stuttered and choppy but something about his voice was so familiar that it set Changbin at peace and in clear realization his eyes widened in astonishment. 

“You’re… Are you CB97?” He knew the question was a little misplaced and they had bigger things to worry about at the moment but Changbin couldn’t help the amazement from leaking out and he asked it without really thinking. 

It must have startled the older boy because he looked at Changbin like he had grown a second head, and then released an exasperated laugh. He ran his hands through his curled blonde hair before settling them back on his clearly injured shoulder. “I am, how do you- actually never mind that isn’t important right now. Who are you and why is that kid passed out?” 

Changbin was star struck instantly. He knew it was kind of uncool how infatuated he already was with this practical stranger but after hearing his words from earlier he was already on a high of desperation. CB97 Gave Changbin a eyebrow raise, as if asking him  _ what the fuck was wrong with him _ and Changbin hurried to race out a response. “I don’t know actually. I was running and then suddenly I ran into something, maybe someone? When I opened my eyes we all were just lying here. I’m not really sure where ‘here’ is…” His voice trailed off as his eyes swept along the boy on the ground and then struck CB97 with a confused look. 

The boy took in Changbin’s expression before taking in a harsh inhale. “Well damn. This sucks,  _ god- _ ” The older groaned in pain, clutching his shoulder a little harder before attempting to pull himself up, Changbin hurried to stop him.

“Wait! Stop, you're injured. If you move around recklessly you might hurt it more, it could be dislocated.” 

“It’s fine, we don’t have time to linger. I need to- I need…” His words died out and he looked at the ground in deep contemplation, and something in Changbin clicked. 

Normally he would’ve felt immediate suspicions of these two, but instead he felt calm.  _ Connected actually _ , and again without much thought he asked his question. “Were you running from- from the Peacekeepers?” 

Once the words left his mouth he realized how crazy he sounded, but the look CB97 gave him erased all his doubts and understanding settled across the pair. They remained silent as they assessed one another but a groan quickly snapped their attention back to the young teen on the ground, clearly starting to stir awake. 

Cautiously Changbin sent the other boy a worried look before dragging his body over to the boy and rolling him onto his back to try and assess his state. The movement must have shaken away whatever was keeping the kid unconscious because in an instant his eyes had snapped open and he flew into a sitting position, inches away from head butting Changbin in his rush. 

“Woah woah! Calm down, hey!” Changbin attempted to reach out and trap the kid in a firm hold to relax his anxiety and to keep him from freaking out but clearly that was not how the kid wanted things to play out because he slapped Changbin’s hands away and fearfully backed himself towards the wall. His gaze was like a crazed rodent and Changbin worried he might snap and murder him at any second. He looked wild. 

“We aren’t going to hurt you. Please calm down, we’re both just as confused as you must feel.” The calm voice floated across the room and both boys looked back at the oldest and he gave them a warm reassuring smile. “I’m Chan, and I… I think we might be in similar situations.” 

“What do you mean?” The young boy suddenly interjected, his voice was soft and almost forced. 

“I was running from- from the Peacekeepers before I ended up barreling into you two and now we’re here. I’m assuming it must have been a power-” He sent Changbin and the other kid a once over glance before silencing his speech. 

“... -unning away. Stray…” The boy muttered under his breath and Changbin turned his head to look at him and his dejected state. 

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t hear you clearly” Chan urged out, a soft expression on his face even if it was clear he was still in pain. 

“Jisung. ‘M also a stray. I was… running and then I think I must have teleported us on accident. I can’t control it-” His sentences were short, choppy and filled with uncertainty. He hung his head clearly upset and Changbin wanted to reach out and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder but he hesitated. He could only imagine what he must have gone through before they had all run into each other.  _ He could only imagine. _

Cautiously Changbin turned his gaze upwards and into Chan’s expectant stare. He knew things were confusing and nothing made sense but he felt safe with these two and maybe this was the fate his string was leading him towards. So with a small breath and a weak smile and relaxed his shoulders and finally spoke. 

_ “I’m Changbin, and I’m a stray.”  _

**End Agitation**

**Author's Note:**

> I have started a Playlist for this story! I shall link it and the document which explains which part goes with what. It will continue to update as I add to the story, so I hope you can enjoy the music I felt fits best with each new element lol <3 
> 
> Playlist- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2DLfjYp6O8wTkNO9ZhTgRL?si=mHQjIUOyQkWUKmTclWrrFg (Don't play on shuffle) 
> 
> Document- https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F5TeD00FDI605OybH4Zm_HFAjhuxT92TuXjtxD8Hx88/edit?usp=sharing


End file.
